curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Finally Friday

The day rolls on. Well I made it to work opposed to yesterday. I woke up and my throat was a little bit sore but more imporantly, I was tired, so I called in sick. First I remembered that we were short staffed already and then I called in sick. I realized I would be on phones most of the day and there was no way I was putting up with that crap. When the weather man reported it was minus 16 that sealed the deal. I called the boss, left a message, and turned over and slept till noon. It was great. I got bored by midafternoon and dragged my butt to the gym - healthy or sick I'm there. Then last night S came over and we rented a dvd (the goodgirl) and ate some junk food - alright that was counter productive but what could I do? I tried to eat more pretzels than anything else out of the party mix. Sigh.

So today I'm feeling mostly better. Got the sniffles. And I'm tired. I go to bed early but I end up tossing and turnind and then of course I get hot so that makes matters worse. I know it was after midnight when I fell asleep. And as usual by the time my alarm went off I was snug as a bug in the rug. But I dragged my sorry butt to work and I have even managed to get some done. Of course it helped that my parents are going to be in town and will be picking me up after work and taking me to dinner. I'm trying to eat like a bird these last few days and the place we're going to tonight won't accomplish this. Tommorow is D day. Dress trying on day. Can I be less enthusiastic? I'm now worried that by some miracle I will lose weight within the next few months and when the dress comes in I won't fit it and it will be un-fixable. I have issues.

Speaking of issues. I had a dream about a co-worker the other night - a guy. I don't really remember the dream but I remember him talking to me and he mentioned something his girlfriend had said. I remember in the dream being disappointed he had a girlfriend. Pretty uninteresting but still it left me wondering. In real life I think the guy is cute but I've never got beyond "hi, how are you?" and that's just passing in the hallway every few days. It's not even like I want to take it to another level. I'm not ready -yet. But I heard him talking to someone the other day about a job interview and....well it bothered me. Maybe because there's only 2 single guys in my office and he's the more....appealing to me. But it's all so stupid cause it's not even like we talk or that he's interested in me. It's just another of my fucked up head fantasies. I really hope I get better soon.

Take today for instance. Today I'm feeling all fine about being single and not being with J. And I'm sitting there reading a joke email he sent me and in the sent line I see my name, my brother's and someother that of course wasn't a real name cause it's a hotmail account but it looks like it would belong to a girl - and that bugged the shit out of me. My stomach did the plummet. And I realized how little I've come. But that's what it's all about - taking it one moment at a time.

I need sun. I need warmer weather. I need to lose 10 pounds by tommorow. What's that? Not gonna happen? I agree. Two and a half hours to go. Wish me luck on the dress expedition tommorow - I'm gonna need it.

1:52 p.m. - 2003-01-31


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