curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Not so good a day afterall

I've got tons of work. But I can't bring myself to do it. My day has been a roller coaster of emotions. I woke up in a fairly good mood. It's my massage day. I couldn't drag my butt out of bed but then my dad called and said they would meet me for lunch when they were dropping off my brother. So I got up, showered and tried to rush - but I couldn't make myself move fast enough. I was debating taking my car cause my co-worker said she anticpated her car still being the shop. One look at the clock and I decided to drive. It was slushy and damp so not walking was an easy decision to make. Unfortunately (for me) my co-worker's car was already in the spot I was s.o.l. I parked on the road (free parking for 2 hours). I debated bringing my car home at break and walking back. But finally I talked to our security guards and made arrangements to park in one of the visitor's spots we have. That was taken care of - good mood still fairly in order.

My dad and brother pick me up at lunchtime - no mom. She woke up dizzy and with high blood pressure this morning. My dad tried to get her to go to the hospital but she's stubborn. So instead they paged the doctor (small town) and immediately went and saw her. She checked my mom out and prescribed some medicine and bed car trip and she was going to check on her in the afternoon. This almost made my heart stop. My mom is my is my dad. They've had health scares in the past....bad ones. I can't think of life without either one of them. One of the reasons I cried so hard when J and I broke up is because I wanted to get married and have a baby while both of my parents are still with me. It's hard to do that single.

Then I got back to work from lunch to a message on my voicemail. It was T she was cancelling swimming tonight. She didn't sound good on the phone. Then I listened to the rest of the message, one of her dogs was hit by a car last night and she had to put her down. This dog could be the most annoying affectionate starved dog you ever saw - but it had a heart of gold. It just wanted to be loved. T loved this dog...more than the other one. I don't mean that in a bad way. Jade was her baby. The other dog only came about a year ago when her boyfriend found her, so that was his dog. Jade was my favourite to. The other dog is a small snappy thing and just doesn't...didn't...have that lovable goofiness about it. I called T back and made plans to see her after work..after my massage. I'll be up near her house but I didn't want to come over unless she said it was okay. Some people like to deal with grief in their own way.

So that's been my day so far. All bad news. No exercise. And a really greasy Harvey's lunch. But for T I will give up my day of exercise cause she needs me. She was there for me with J. And though, this is far from the same thing I want to be there in case she needs me.

My body is sore from kardio knockout. I was a sweat machine last night. I didn't do much yesterday eve. I made a stir fry, went to the gym and then came home and vegged on the couch while doing dishes and laundry.

Ever since J called and keep expecting him to call. I'm mostly sure he wanted sex...or at least a bj. He didn't call. And part of me is disappointed...the unrational part of me. Rationaly I know it would be beyond bad to see him or God forbid do anything with him. But God found a way to keep me from succumbing to tempation. My period started on the day it should have ended. Which means that even if I saw J we couldn't have "fooled" around. Pretty smart eh? But J never called. I didn't call him. My brother is back. So there will be no calls. No seeing eachother. I should be happy about this. I wish I was happy about this. Instead I just want to cry.

I would really like someone to hold me right now. God, I miss that. It's the simple's always the simple things.

3:07 p.m. - 2003-02-19


previous - next

latest entry

about me





random entry

other diaries: