curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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No more headgames please!

It's Friday. It's about time. I was so tired when I got home from work last night. I laid down on my bed for a minute and woke up 20 minutes later not even realizing I fell asleep. I met up with my friend T and we shopped for dinner and then went back to my place. T cooked up an interesting dip and then proceeded to clean my kitchen. S finally came around 8 just as Survivor was starting. We watched it - awesome show by the way - and then Keith called. While I was chatting on the phone the girls decided to clean my apartment - cleaning is a code word for throw away everything I own. Although to be honest I do keep a lot of crap that I'm just to lazy to get around to throwing out. Yah so I chatted with Keith we made plans for tonight - I'm heading over to his place for around 6 and he's making dinner for me. Pretty sweet - a guy who can cook. I think it will work out well since he has to go to work for midnight and I will have to pack for tomorrow (going to the folks) and get a good nights sleep (the cold).

Speaking of cold, I am sitting at reception for the morning and it is freezing. My feet are like ice cubes.

I'm thinking of leaving early today. I have some work to do but I should be able to finish by 3. I'm thinking of heading home and taking a nap and then maybe going to the gym for a 'small' workout and then a nice soak in the hot tub. We'll see if I actually do it. But I do know I look like crap today - I have sick eyes. The eyes that look like you haven't slept in days. I'm now dealing with a cough. That dry kind of cough that keeps a tickle in your throat and when you cough more than a couple of times your chest begins to get sore. Wow - this is exciting stuff eh? I think I'm rambling cause I don't want to think about the man situation anymore. I don't want to play the what if game. I don't want to think about all that right now. I don't want to think about J's party tonight and what will be going on. It's none of my concern. I really just want to go over to Keith's and have a good time with him. I'm definately going at a much slower pace with him. I don't think it will get any faster tonight - especially seeing as how I'm nice and sick - no make out sessions for us! Poor guy. Second date and he'll still see no action from me.

J hasn't decided if he's catching a ride with me and my brother tomorrow back to the folks. I honestly don't know if I want him to or not. I choose the one that will be less painful - but I don't know what that is. I know I would like him to be in the car but not if he's going to tell wild party stories....which knowing him is going to be a must. Yah life was certainly less complicated before J re-entered my life. I think after his b-day which is next Tuesday I won't see much of him for a while. I know he wants me to do something with him for his b-day but I don't know if I will. It's just too weird. We've already proven we can't hang out as "just friends". And now that he has his ex-gf on the backburner I've lost even more respect for him. I don't like head games and whether it's intentional or not that's what he's doing to me. I went through all this stuff in my first serious relationship with Rob. We played the what if game for more years than I care to remember. I don't know enough about Keith yet to tell if there's something there that we can build on - I guess that's where this dating thing comes in. So far what I know about him I like. The only thing I can think of is if he was more talkative. I feel like I do all the talking. I have no idea what to wear tonight. I want to be comfy (the whole sick thang) but not look like a slob...oh the joys of being a girl. Well wish me luck for this weekend. Maybe I should concentrate on one thing this weekend, "telling my mom how much she means to me". Happy Mothers Day!

12:05 p.m. - 2003-05-09

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