curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Not much to say

Ola. I thought that since I had a spare moment (albeit brief one) I would write an entry. I don't even know if I have anything interesting to say. Let's see - the man cruise was awesome - I mean how could it not be? A bunch of hot looking guys stripping for hundreds of women - I'm surprised they weren't raped by the end of the night when all the women were liquored up and horny. I myself was stone cold sober - didn't feel like spending the $50 it would take to get me drunk. Plus I was so tired I would have probably passed out after a few drinks. Dating a guy who works nights definately takes some getting use to. Yah so Keith and I are still dating. We spend the whole weekend together....minus a few errands I had to run regarding my dress (which is all finished and hanging in my apartment as we speak!). Yah so the weekend went well. I have so many emotions regarding this relationship. First off I'm so scared to even think about putting my heart into it. My trust with men is gone. I have this feeling that as soon as I fall for him his feelings for me will not be the same. Then on the other hand I'm not even sure if I want to get into a relationship with him. I keep trying to find faults with him. Then I have to remind myself that I'm getting ahead of myself and I have to take things slow. We're still in the 'getting to know you' stage. We haven't really seen eachother's bad side.

So in other news, we're in high wedding gear now. S has finally began freaking out. She's getting the bridal nerves. Of course it's my job to calm her. I guess slapping her would be out of the question. I'm gonna try alcohol if she gets on my nerves enough. We again had it out last night regarding decorating my car. She's still trying to convince me that sticking decorations on my car on the paint will not hurt it at all - to prove this she drove around yesterday with them on her car. I still told her no. I'm not trying to be a bitch but I know that if anything did happen to my car she wouldn't pay for the touch up (no money) but she'd want her guy to 'fix' it. Not. Gonna. Happen. No one comes between me and my car! Besides that things are going okay. I dyed my hair last night - although you can't really tell except it's all one shade and not two anymore - I wish I had gone lighter but I guess that will be next time. Friday is our nail appointment. I just picked up their wedding present a money card with money in it. Now people are telling me that I'm supposed to give just 'her' a present from me. Nuh-uh I've done enough damn it. This was supposed to be a low key wedding without all the frills and fripperies. I figure when all is said and done I'll have spend over $300 on this wedding! It's insane. I love the girl to death but I have my limit.

This will be the first night I'm not seeing Keith. I stopped by briefly last night around 11 and didn't leave until 1:30 - oops. I spoke to J last night. He got a job at his old workplace. It's hard trying to figure out where he's at in the whole 'over me' process. He'll talk like he is but then he'll make a comment about meeting Keith and punching him - of course he says this in a joking matter. I want to ask him if he got back together with his ex but I don't want him to think I care. Which of course I do but he can't know that. I have no idea why I care if he does - I just do.

Well at least each day seems a little less chaotic then the one before which is a good thing. Ah to be normal. Is there such a thing?

Did I mention I'm pms'ing? Let's see new guy in my life - a wedding this weekend in which I want to look good and fit in my dress and I'm craving chocolate and 'bad' foods like there's no tomorrow! Joy oh joy. Oh and I have a rash on my chest from my sunburn of 2 weeks ago! Now that one is just pissing me off.

I think I'll go be productive now.

2:10 p.m. - 2003-05-27

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