curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Bein' a woman ain't all it's cracked up to be

I am officically 29. I am officially PMS'ing. Big time. Oh Lordy, even I want to get away from me. Let's see, in no particular order I'm feeling mad, fat, sad, bored, on edge, uncertain about my future, disorganized and let's end it with grumpy. There's about 101 other emotions I'm feeling (all at the same time of course!) but I'm not in the mood to list them all. Whew - see what I mean? I have to go home and dig out a shirt I have about bad moods. But let me try and put my pms moodswings aside for a moment and let me tell you about my birthday.

My birthday was kick ass. It was the best birthday that I can ever remember. You see, I stopped have expectations. Over the years I have built up my birthday to the point where no matter what I did it just didn't measure up to what I wanted. This year I just wanted to enjoy my birthday and not have any expectations. Keith, my younger brother and I went down to my parents on Saturday. My brother and his little family were there and that evening we had a small celebration with cake and gifts. Then on Sunday after church we had another small celebration with more family members and more cake and gifts. Keith had to be back at his house to make a phone call around 4-4:30 so we had to cut the celebrating short and raced back home. Our 2 hour drive took a bit longer due to the amount of traffic we encountered. We were a bit late and he seemed a bit upset but we got there. Then...then I walked into his place and there were balloons everywhere with Happy Birthday banners all over the place. Then around the corner stood my small group of loyal friends waiting to surprise me. I was surprised. I was stunned. No one has ever thrown a surprise party for me...and actually surprised me. I had no idea whatsoever - no inkling at all. It was a really kick ass time followed by cake and more presents of course! At midnight Keith and I were back at my place (yah the party ended early due to it being Sunday and everyone having to work etc). Keith handed me an envelope (my big present) inside was a certificate - to go in a hot air balloon. How kick ass is that? He had booked it for the next day - my birthday - but upon waking we quickly realized this wouldn't happen as the weather just wasn't co-operating. So we eventually left my place and went to the mall and got some aqua massages and then we went to Red Lobster (my absolute favourite!) after that we went bowling - at which time we called the hot air balloon hot line and learned that yes, our flight was cancelled. So we headed back to my place called and re-booked our flight (the 29th!) and then we decided to go to the movies. It was a nice fun event filled day. I know Keith spent way to much money on me. But hey, how could I get mad at him for that? Our night didn't end the absolute best (pms anyone?). I can't even remember what it was about but I just remember feeling un-happy and wanting to roll over and tell Keith that just being with him all day - without all the presents and the outings - made my day special. That no other guy has put so much thought into making me happy. And a few other mushy things. But as I was thinking these things I heard the sound of deep breathing and realized he had fallen asleep. So I did what any premenstrual woman would do - I got up went to the couch, cried and fell asleep. Yup Happy Birthday to me. It wasn't the ending I was hoping for but I'll blame it on the stupid hormones.

Now I am in my stupid organized mood. I want to clean and organize my apartment but then when I get home, I look around and get discouraged before I start. Seriously...I am so glad pms doesn't strike me this bad every month.

Well it's just about time to head home - I had more to write but time is not allowing it. Although it's probably for the best since let's just say the chipper side of me is so not winning today. Let's cross our fingers for a better tomorrow shall we? Survivor begins so it just HAS to be a better day. Except - did I mention that Keith hates Survivor? Sad - but true. *sigh* Oh yah that's how the bad feelings began on my birthday night. He wasn't to happy with my dis-inviting him but in my defense he did say that he *hated* surivor - his exact words...and yah that just sort of ticked me off and I realized if he was that negative towards a show then we didn't need his unhappy vibes there! Whoa - all that over a tv show...sad huh? It didn't seem so bad until this very moment when I put this down on paper (so to speak). It looks childish and immature. How old did I turn again?

4:12 p.m. - 2003-09-17


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