curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Only Tuesday Calm blue ocean. That's my new philosophy. So far this week is going pretty good - work wise. We'll see how long this lasts. I left work on Friday just drained (after another long emotional meeting - this time minus the yelling - just crying). Man doesn't my team sound like a wreck? It is. But still I'm hoping it's not as bad as it sounds on paper. Friday night I didn't do to much - just lounged around and read and ate, then later on went over and saw my boy after work....a perfect night. Saturday night was much more upbeat. A group of us went Oktoberfesting. In all there were 12 of us going...only 11 of us got in...we were on ticket short and they were sold out. That part definately sucked. It was C who gave her ticket to someone else cause they were a couple. You could tell she still felt bad about not going. But I don't think she would have had that great a time. It was definately a university crowd - very loud and rambunctious (sp?). You had to be drunk to go along with the flow...which I definately was. Yay me. Of course I definately mixed way too much...vodka coolers, vodka and grapefruit juice (ew), beer, 2 different shots of schapps and then more beer. Yah my belly wasn't too pleased with me. But no one got hurt and I didn't upchuck so I consider the night a success. Although it's a little fuzzy for me right now. I had so much to say earlier but I was on the phones at work and they were crazy busy and I used up some of my energy being angry. A telephone tech was training the other telephone tech and they went half an hour over - no big deal except the work I had to get done takes concentration and no switching of the screens - which ain't gonna happen while I'm on phones. So I'm a bit pissed off at them. I'm sick of getting into drama over little issues so I'm just gonna let it go - the one girl (who is the main trouble maker) is gone this week so there's no use splitting hairs now. Calm blue ocean. Now onto last night. Okay so in my effort to take control over my weight (which has been climbing up up up) I've been writing in a little journal about my feelings and what I've eaten that day etc. So last night Keith came home with me and we layed down until he had to go to work. He got up and I stayed in bed drifting off. A couple of minutes later I realized the light was still on which means he was still there which means it was taking him a lot longer than normal to put his shoes on. It was then that I realized that he must have noticed my book (lying open) and was reading it. Just then he said goodbye and left for work. Of course I got up and went over to the spot he was sitting (the only clear spot in the room) and yup the book lay open. It was open to my last entry in which I stated my weight (yipe!) and how upset I was about it all. Part of me is upset that he saw it and part of me is relieved. Of course I'm upset that he's reading my very personal thoughts and he probably thinks I'm weird just for having a journal like that. But the other part of me that is glad is happy that he saw that I really am upset about this and I am trying to do something to make it better. He's been kind of making me feel bad about going to the gym (being away from him - he does it in a joking manner but you know the saying...there's always a speck of truth). So I think by him reading that he realizes that yah I am truely upset by all this and that I need to go to the gym after work. And yah. "Nuff said. I'm tired. But I'm gonna haul my butt to the gym and try and make a dent in this vicious cycle. Right now. 3:47 p.m. - 2003-10-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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