curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Happy? Not even close.

Well hallelujah - the server finally let me on. Everyone and their mother seems to be updating the same time I am these days.

Don't mind me I'm not feeling my normal chipper self at the moment. In fact I'm feeling kind of disenchanted with life. Doesn't it seem that life always goes like this? You can never be 100% happy. It's either your personal life, money, work...something. For me I guess it's work. I hate not liking my job like I used to. I hate hating my boss. I didn't love her before but we had an okay relationship. Now I have no respect for her whatsoever as a manager - she's screwed over to many of her employees. I hate the fact that my job has turned into a back-up for every position on my team. I'm expected to jump right in wherever or whenever it is needed. And without proper training. I could almost accept it if I knew what I was doing or talking about 90% of the time - but I don't so I feel inadequate. That plus the fact I'm supposed to do all this extra work for no extra money. Don't seem to fair to me. I don't know. What I really want is to enjoy work. Not get here at 8:30 and wish it was 4:30 so I can leave. There's gotta be more to life than this.

But it's not a pity me entry. I know I have things pretty good but I'm venting so I'm not gonna look on the sunny side of life right now.

Speaking of sunny - what the f*ck is up with this weather? I mean shit yesterday we were boiling our asses off - today all my rings are falling off cause I'm so freakin' cold! This is just not right.

Last night I headed over to T's after work (and after calling Sprint and yelling at them for not sending my new cell phone to me yet). By the time I got there I was in a pissy mood (weather, spilling my pop all over my kitchen floor and my lovely parking ticket that I got for parking on Keith's street). And it had just begun to rain. So T had been having a bad afternoon too so we decided to screw the rain and go swimming anyway. Very therapeutic. We swam until the rain began to pour. Afterwards T made some corn on the cob and we had a bite to eat. I left around 8 or so and headed over to Keith's. His place was sweltering. I got him up and showed him my parking ticket. He then went on line to decipher the code on the ticket. It turned out to be pretty ambigious. Basically the city can go, "here's a ticket for whatever god damn reason we feel like nah nah nah". F*ckers.

It's like the world is against me.

I just had to write that line above. It's not true but it felt good to write it.

I can't remember if I mentioned yesterday that not only did I NOT lose weight on the vgo diet - I gained. I seem destined to stay in this weight range. The weight won't budge. Right now a whole list of profanities is running through my head.

I've kind of stopped caring at the moment. What does caring get me? Nuthin.

Okay this entry is too damn depressing. I'm gonna sign off and NOT finish my vgo but go find some actual food to eat.

One more thing. Apparently I'm getting a new computer at work. It's time for an upgrade or something like that. At first I thought this was good but now I realize this means that I get the black ones they have now with one of the stupid black keyboards that I hate to type on. See I can turn anything positive into something negative? It's a rare talent. But on the plus side maybe my computer time will be right for once and not 12 hours out of wack. Maybe.

1:09 p.m. - 2004-06-10


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