curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Work blows donkey chunks (and then some)

It's a weird kind of day. I hit 'add an entry' without any ramblings running through my head - none.

Right now all I have going on is a sore lower back. I might have overdid at the gym yesteday or it might be that I'm so stressed about friggin' work and all the BS that goes with it. That's where all my stress goes btw. Good to know.

Yah so I've been to the gym 3 days in a row so far (a record for me these days). I even got adventerous and went to the Exclusively Women's gym in Waterloo. You see I'm about to downgrade my membership so I can only attend one gym - not all of them. I always meant to go to the new women's gym when it first opened in Waterloo but never made it. Yesterday I did. And it was pretty cool. A helluva lot more machines than the one I go to and you don't have to sign up for them (very sweet). I hate their showers though. There are no shelves! Or hooks so you can hang your towel! Why can't people be practical? I now have to decide if I still want to downsize my membership. I imagine I only have a short span of time to do this - decisions decisions.

I'm feeling antsy today. I don't know what it is. Last night I tried to figure out why Keith doesn't laugh or smile a lot lately. He says it's the fact that he's tired or the fact that when I walk through the door I always do something to piss him off (yah nice for me to hear that too). Are we becoming a boring predictable couple? Boring in my mind leads to very bad things. For example, boring leads to the man saying, "I need more excitement in my life, I love you but I'm not 'in' love with you - let's break up". I tend to be melodramatic but these are thoughts that run through my mind when the laughter stops.

God I hate work so much these days. I hate hating work. I don't expect to jump out of bed and greet every morning with a smile and rush off to work blows lately. There's so many changes and my boss is on crack for most of this. I seriously want to punch her in the head - a lot. And during this Keith's job is uncertain. Come Fall he may not have it anymore. Come Fall my rent goes up. Come Fall his rent may go up. Come Fall we'd be paying over $1000 combined for rent. Ummm couldn't that money be put towards something called a mortgage? His response? Well if you would just move in with me......

My response? Well lately I don't have one cause I'm sick of explaining why I can't/won't. And now? Now it's just pissing me off. I'm almost starting to feel that he doesn't respect me enough to 'marry' me just 'live' with me. He knows it's not only my parents holding me back from living with him. It's the fact that I want to do this the right way. I want to get married, move in together and have everything be so friggin' exciting! But he totally ignores that part when he brings up the moving in thing just the 'parents' part. Which tells me that he's either ignoring that fact or doesn't care how I feel about it.

I don't know anymore I just don't. Is life really supposed to keep getting more complicated?

2 months to the day till I turn 30.

1:40 p.m. - 2004-07-15


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