curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Defending my personal diary

So, as I as lathering up in the shower this morning I started to think about my online diary. You see, yesterday's entry, was a tad....bitchy I guess would be the word. But it was how I was feeling at the time. Yesterday about half an hour after I typed it I was thisclose to going back and deleting it. But I didn't cause it's how I felt. Sometimes when I'm venting in my diary I get this little buzz at the back of my head that says, "your boyfriend may not like this entry". But I try to turn the buzz down or off cause really it's my diary and I don't just want to write about rainbows and butterflies. This is after all a record of my life. I want to go back and read an honest opinion on how I was feeling at this time in history. I don't really have any real options - I could delete those entries that I consider kinda harsh, I could create a whole new 'secret' diary, I could lock my diary or I could ask my boyfriend to stop reading my entries. None of those work for me (well except the last one but I already tried it). So I guess what I'm gonna say is, take my entries with a grain of salt. I write how I'm feeling at the moment. Normally when I'm feeling down or bitchy those moments don't last long. But I have them.

With that all said, now I can say that I feel great today! I left work last night totally overworked and overwhelmed. Our boss is expecting a lot from me and my 3 other co-workers. We're like the dream team. We're supposed to be able to do it all. And my boss only looks at the situations through rose coloured glasses. She refuses to see the cracks or the gaps as it may be. We're struggling to train ourselves and eachother and take on the more and more work that is being thrown at us. It beats me down once in a while and I let it get to me a little more than it should. I have to remember that I'm only human. I can't 'do it all' no matter how hard my boss pushes me. One day those glasses of hers will fall off and she'll have to see the situation for how it really is.

So last night I left here happy to be out of this office. I went home and collapsed. I wanted to take this down time and alone time to maybe clean up the clutter in my place. Nope. But I did call Sprint. The company that on June 30th told me that would get back to me within 48hours to let me know why my cell phone had a long distance number. So I spent over half an hour on the phone with this chick who was a little high and mighty until I started telling her in absolute detail every single call I've made to them (did I mention I write everything down - who I was speaking to what they promised me etc) it comes in very handy. At the end of the call she was apologising left right and centre. I think I got some money off but by then I was running out of time and still had to grab a snack before my boxercise class so I was trying to get her off the phone. But I do have a new cell number so I'm happy - and it's a local number - yay!

I went to my boxercise class and again there were only 4 of us. But this time there were 3 different people! And the instructor was even different. Yah pretty bizzare. But the class did it's job. It got my blood pumping and it got my anger and frustration out. I love boxercise!

Afterwards all sweaty and gross I headed over to Keith's. He was still in bed and was in a good mood when I woke him up. I was just thankful he hadn't read my entry that day and totally took it the wrong way. I didn't mention it. I'm kinda hoping that reading my diary has kind of lost the thrill for him (a girl can hope).

After lazing around till almost 9 we finally left to go get food. Wendy's! Yum. Afterwards we stopped at Rogers where I tried to feed my addiction to Sex and the City but the bastards had none! I'm gonna try Steve's tv today but I'm not holding my breath - I may be Sex free this weekend (watching only I hope!).

Bedtime was relatively early and sleep came like a bullet after a while of talking and goofing around. Getting up this morning was fun as normal - except the added bonus of it being Friday and casual day. After showering I quickly packed my gym bag, got dressed and left for work early. So I could stop at Tim's! I got 3 coffee's. One was for our summer student who got me my duck screen saver back and the other was for one of my co-worker's who helped me out yesterday with some work when I was being buried alive by the paper work on my desk. I also bought some timbits. I was gonna tell you what happened to them but I don't think I want it recorded what I did to them.

So here I sit at work a little after 9am, sipping my almost finished coffee. I suppose it's time to go and do the work I am getting paid to do. But it's still Friday AND my boss is away today! Woo. Thank goodness for Friday's!

And now here's a little poem that I didn't write but that I've read so many times over the years that I have it memorized.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will

when the road you're trudging seems all uphill

when the funds are low and the debts are high

and you want to smile but you have to sigh

when care is pressing you down a bit

rest if you must but don't you quit

success is failure turned inside out

the silver tint of the clouds of doubt

and you never can tell how close you are

it may be near when it seems afar

so stick to the fight when your hardest hit

it's when things go wrong that you musn't quit

- okay I had to google the last few lines. And the poem that I found had a few more versus than the little bookmark one that I own and a few of the versus are worded a bit differently - but I'm sticking with the verse I know. I may have to start reciting this in the near future if work keeps going the way it is. Wish me luck!

Coffee's done - time to work.

8:45 a.m. - 2004-07-16


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