curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Yellow Snow & Stuff

May I just state for the record how gross yellow snow is? I had to get that off my chest.

Now that that's done I can talk about what's been happening since I last wrote. It was quite an eventful weekend. On Friday morning I headed up to my parents solo. Keith had to work that night and I was going to be spending Saturday trying on bridesmaid dresses etc. so he wouldn't have been kept entertained.

I showed up Friday afternoon after making some good time on the trip there. Everyone was bustling around getting ready for a potluck dinner at the church (my brother was the one who was cooking!). But once the men went to move some stuff my mom and I sat down and went over wedding stuff - my mom is thrilled to bits over this. You can tell she's been waiting for this moment for a while. I showed her my wedding organizer book that I bought - not sure of what she would think of it - and she thought it was the best thing since sliced bread.

The evening passed with dinner at the church, a short video on the 'church of tomorrow' and then some scrabble playing back at home. Followed closely by bedtime! Sleep was restless and a lot of wedding dreaming went on.

The next day we waited for my brother's fiancee to show up with her maid of honour and then we had a quick bite to eat, courtesy of my brother (quite the little cook he's turning into) and then it was off shopping for dresses with the 3 girls and my mom.

I drove us to Barrie in a nice snowstorm but we followed 3 plows so it wasn't that bad - just really slow. Once there we began trying on dresses where I got to realize exactly how fat I have gotten since the last time I tried on these dresses - not the best moment. After we settled on a style and the bride tried on her gown my mom and I began to look around at the dresses. Earlier my mom had asked me if I wanted to try dresses on when we went there but I told her no cause I didn't want the bride to get peeved at me. But she was cool with it so my mom and I just casually looked around.

There was one dress that I couldn't stop coming back to. I tried on a few dresses (again fat issues!) and then my mom and I talked and we both talked about the dress I liked. In fact we ended up putting a deposit down on that dress even though I couldn't try it on WAY too small. They are going to order it in my size (ugh) and it will be in around May. Wow. I can't believe I have a wedding dress! My mom also informed me at the bridal shop that her and my dad wanted to buy the dress for me. Double bonus! I can't say how much it was cause a certain guy sometimes reads this and I wouldn't tell him the exact price. Let's say it was less than $1000 and more than $500 (with taxes). Not too shabby I suppose.

Afterwards my mom treated us gals to dinner out at Swiss Chalet since we were going to miss the Bobby Burns dinner (memories of that day I tell ya). We celebrated by eating a lot of food - not helping with the weight issues huh?

Saturday night was more scrabble and bed around 1am. Again sleep was restless and lots of wedding dreams. The theme of the weekend!

Sunday I was up relatively early and found out that the future sil (sister in law) was not feeling well and was asked by my brother to pick up her maid of honour from the motel and take her to church. The brother had to pick up an old lady that can't drive herself to church. Since the bathroom was indisposed for most of the morning by the future sil and then the brother I didn't have much time to get ready. I decided to start my car while I got dressed. After trying the car starter to no avail, with my hair wrapped in a towel and a winter coat thrown over my pj's I ran out to try and start the car manually but by that time my starter had drained the battery. I ended up waking the future sil to get her keys and borrow her car.

After church I got a boost from my dad for my car only to find that the radio was locked. An anti theft device on my car. After playing with it during the drive down to Oshawa for my nephew's birthday and then numerous relatives playing with it we found out that only the dealer can override the system. So I had a nice 2 hour drive home - in silence - by myself. Once I saw Keith I chatted for 10 minutes straight. I wonder if he even understood me. After all that time by myself I was happy to have another live body.

After telling him everything that went on and even describing my dress in broad terms we headed over to my place. Then we got into a whole discussion about our eating habits and we managed to piss each other off. Apparently I wouldn't 'drop it'. I wanted to discuss this stuff so I can have some plan to lose weight. We are very lazy people, if we can put something off we will, so that's why I pushed the issue. Then he went on to tell me that it's how much I eat and how often that is the culprit. You see he eats 2 very large meals a day and manages not to gain the weight (unless it's non stop junk food). He thinks I should eat bigger portions - even though my portions have doubled since I met him. Does anyone else see the problem with his thinking? He wants me to eat a huge breakfast and then a huge lunch and I won't be 'starving' (his words) by the time we eat dinner around 7 or 8 that night. There are so many things wrong with all that that I don't even know where to start!

First off, we have very different body types. Second he works nights - I eat and then a couple of hours later (after watching tv!) I head to bed. Also we are very much into the comfort, filling foods. Mashed potatoes (his favourite!), meatloafs that kind of thing. Also he's not one for the 'low fat' cooking.

I don't know I think Iím also taking my frustration out on him. I just really want to be able to lose some weight before the wedding. I want to be supported. I don't want to be told that since Iím fat and have slow metabolism it's almost impossible for me to lose weight, even if I go to the gym everyday. I want to be helped not hindered.

I donít know if it's the power of suggestion but apparently today is supposed to be one of the worst for being blue. The 24th of January is the day that we are allowed to be crabby. I didn't need the permission but I guess it helps.

And now today I am chewing tums like there's no tomorrow. I think I'm just stressed out over all this. I did lie to Keith when I told him that after we got the reception place I would be less stressed. Although to my defense I think a part of me believed this. I was delusional. There's going to be a lot more stresses to come my way and if I keep being down on myself with this whole weight thing then it's not gonna be pretty and I'll have to get some stock in Tums. Also? The pimples have decided that they love me, the more stressed I am the more my face looks like a pizza - oh joy.

Oh yahÖ.I also desperately need to dye my hair. The grey is rearing it's ugly head big time.

But, less I forget about my New Years resolution to be more positive, there is one piece of news that is very positive. My brother and his wife announced that they are expecting their 3rd child, due in August. It was an unplanned pregnancy but they're thrilled - we all were when they told us yesterday at my nephew's birthday party. It's gonna be a big year for my family.

4:54 p.m. - 2005-01-24

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