curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Ramble on....ramble on....

Oh look another entry written at work and posted at home......

Can you tell me why the report I get which is one page long comes to me as 5 pages? Four pages of waste. Tsk Tsk. Bad Company.

I am feeling less like the workhorse I should be or at least thatís what corporate tells me I should be.

Iím rambling. Already. Should make for a jumbly entry!

I just had a free lunch. My friend P and I went to the downtown beer tent to have our annual schnitzel lunch during Oktoberfest. As like last year there was a private function going on (who seriously books the whole beer tent for a private function Ė thatís just mean). So just like last year Paul and I were honest when asked if we worked for XYZ company and said no. This time though the guy handed us a free meal card and said to go ahead anyway. Sweet. Schnitzel is awesome anytime but free schnitzel? Watch out!

I feel bad for P. I met him online before I met Keith. There was no spark there Ė nothing. If he hadnít mentioned how bummed he was about all the women he met ditching him after they met Iím sure I would have been one of the masses. But heís a super nice guy (with a LOT of health problems) so I firmly put him in the friend category and we now meet occasionally for lunch and just chat. But he does need more friends. He sounds lonely.

As with every year around this time I am no closer to being ready for company than I normally am. Itís sad really. Why canít I be that person who keeps a clean uncluttered house and be company ready at all times? Is that too much to ask? Yes is apparently the answer.

This week has not gone as I had expected. Does that even surprise me? Tuesday I got barely anything done due to the hubby being around and with Tís drama. Then yesterday I took my car into the mechanic. It was making this crazy rumbling sound on the weekend that everyone told me I must must must get my car in asap or it would explode!!! Okay they didnít say it like that but thatís the gist I got. I had already been planning to call my mechanic for a while since my car has been making this clunking (heh I typed clucking!) sound whenever I accelerate and this noise has been causing me chest pains as I was sure I was totally killing the engine or transmission or something that would cost thousands of dollars to fix (thus the delay of bringing in my car to be looked at). But my hand was forced and I dropped my car off Wednesday morning (oh btw he never did call me back so I just sort of showed up!). And guess what happened when I showed up that morning? The car wasnít making that weird noise OR freakiní clunking! My car hates doctors it seemsÖ.or me. The verdict is out.

I picked my car up after work yesterday and found out that he didnít quite understand when the car was making both noises. But we did end up finding out the clunking mystery ( or at least he hopes Ė he has ordered a part) but as for the other noise I am to monitor the car to see if it makes the noise and basically tell him all the details Ė time, place, temp , what I ate for dinner that day. Yah. Next week Iím supposed to call him and weíll set up a time for me to drop my car off to be worked on and if Keith canít drop me off then our mechanic will loan me a car. Heís the best.

So Iíve been on a shoe buying binge lately (the guilt is killing me but Iíll get in to that in a bit). Iím trying to find work shoes that are cute but comfy and not clunky. I found the cute pointy pair but my legs hurt for 2 days afterwards although strangely I never brought them back. Then Tuesday I bought a pair of those cute rounded at the front ones Ė leather. They are killing my feet! Well for the most part they are comfy but one feels tighter than the other and is rubbing the back of my heel raw. I hate working shoes in. On the plus side I finally found a pair of sandals I had been looking for ALL summer. You know when you have a vision of the shoe/sandal you want and can never find it? This is the pair! They are flat with a bit of bling making them fancy and also has a toe loop which makes them look even cuter. They were on the clearance wall for $20 so I couldnít say no.

Now on to the guilt. Oy vey. As I said to Keith Ďweíre screwedí. The bills are raining down on us and we are running for cover but not getting too far. We are very disorganized with our finances. We donít keep track of who pays what bill (basically Keith pays them but I have a few that I do). We donít co-ordinate or know when the other person is paying something so basically we can both drain our account if weíre not careful. Plus we donít keep track of when we owe the govít huge chunks of money or when other loans become due. We just sort of float along until we hit an iceberg and then start bailing out the boat before we sink (man donít you love my analogies today? Woot!) I canít even blame Keith as much I would like to since just thinking about sitting down and figuring this stuff out makes me want to drink and take many pills. Plus? Finding out just how screwed you are doesnít sound like something I want to find out and face any time soon. Excuse me while I stick my head back into this comfy pile of sand!

And then? Today. Today a co-worker from another department came up to me to ask a question about shipping something to another office and proceeded to tell me it was a card to a woman who is terminal and probably not going to make it. Now she didnít say this matter of factly but she did say it like a statement. I canít really describe it right but I just know that afterwords as I waiting for P outside the words ran through my head again and it hit me. Somebody was told they had cancer and probably wouldnít make it. And those bills and debts that have been making me sigh suddenly seemed so small in comparison to this. How big would my problems seem if I were faced with something like this? How much would I long for the days when all I had to worry about were bills that were high but manageable? I pray I never find out. I really do.

So Tís drama doesnít seem to be running the course it used to. It seems that T may be leaving her guy for real. She is looking for a place to live she has told her friends, she has bought furniture for goodness sake! Iím kind of in shock myself. Itís been hard keeping it from Keith these last few days. Iím guessing since sheís telling people itís okay to tell Keith. I think when she shows up (or should I say if?) this weekend for our Oktoberfest outing Saturday night without her guy it will all come out. I now have to send an email out to the people coming to make sure a) they are still coming and b) when they are to arrive.

Told ya I was rambly today.

8:24 p.m. - 2008-10-16

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