curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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window to the world

Written at 1:40pm

Itís definitely a Fall day. Itís cold and the sun is playing peek-a-boo along with bouts of rain.

Iíve spent a LOT of time staring off into space today. Not zombie-like exactly but close enough. My head isnít in the game and apparently doesnít want to be here. I have tons of paper work covering my desk, I have a meeting in half an hour - none of that seems to matter to me. The slackitude is running on overdrive.

Iíve spent the last 10 minutes or so staring out the window. I even propped my feet up on the ledge behind my desk and have just stared outside watching the people bustling to and fro, here and there. I wonder where they are all going? Can I come?

Body wise I feel okay today. I mean my back is sore but it already was. Itís actually more tight than anything else. I really wished I liked our bathtub more. I just donít enjoy baths in regular tubs. Give me a good olí fashioned claw type tub that is nice and deep and I am all over it. I donít even need fancy jets, just a good deep soak would be *shudder* awesome.

So as I lay in bed last night forcing myself to go to sleep at 11 (my body was having none of it btw) I had myself pretty much convinced to get my hair all cut off again. Just when I am at the point that I can pull it back off my face. Why? It doesnít look as cute! I loved my short sassy cut. I also hated it at times too. I missed throwing it back but to be honest I donít even just Ďthrow it backí anymore either. I still gel it in some form and Iíll never just let my bangs be. I donít know. Itís not like Iím going to make a rash decision anyway since if I do get it cut I plan on going back to the original place that did it. My cute student place just couldnít replicate the cut. They are too by the book since they get marked etc. I can let them trim it (maybe) but the original cut was beautifully done by the expensive shop which when I got to thinking about it wasnít all that bad. Itís like $30 or $40. I will willingly pay that for a cut I love. But anywho as I was saying I wouldnít get it done until my next flex day which is 2 weeks away. I figure that is enough time to live with my hair as it is and figure out if I want to go back to sassy. Oh the decisions I know.

Iím going to the gym after work. I am. I am going to break this sick cycle of not going. I seriously want to kick my own ass for not going for way too long.

Iím all about the almighty buck lately. I canít stop thinking about money and who we owe, and who owes us and the fact that weíre still paying $20 a month for Keithís gym membership when he hasnít gone in well over a year. Wanna know why? Itís too inconvenient to stop in and cancel and you canít cancel over the phone. I seriously want to slap us both upside the head sometimes (okay most of the time). Yah so money money money. Itís evil. A necessary evil I know but still Evil. Oh yah his gym is no where remotely close to us and isn't the same gym I go to just in case you thought I was THAT much of a slacker.

Iím wearing pants I havenít worn in about 2 or 3 months I think. I hadnít worn them because they werenít too flattering as they used to be too big and not look right on me. They now fit perfectly. I want to weep. Wrong direction. Wrong direction.

Keith is off for the next two weeks (rather than be happy this makes me say, oh crap 2 weeks of no money coming in from him). Next week he is having dental surgery Ė going under to get a couple wisdom teeth out. Iím taking Monday off to take him. I was told that I wonít even get to sleep in since he has to be there nice and early. Heís nervous. So am I. He doesnít want to go under. I donít want to look after him cause there will be blood involved. I remember from my own wisdom teeth removal (in which I stayed awake thank you very much) there was a lot of gauze involved...blood filled gauze. Gag. Can you guess why I never went in to nursing?

Considering all that I did yesterday with Tís move my body isnít hating me too much. The back was a given but the legs arenít really complaining too bad. My left knee is a little sore but I did whack it once getting out of the truck when I missed the step. My neck is sore but I slept funny and just as I was sitting here rubbing it I could feel a little knot right on my shoulder. Woe is me. Nothing a little working out shouldnít fix!

The rain is coming down hard again.

The staring has also started up again.

My meeting is in 5 minutes.

9:05pm - Update

I did everything possible to avoid going to the gym tonight. I forgot my combonation on my lock until I played with it on the drive over and my fingers took over and found out the last digit. I tried to forget my membership card but it was in my wallet where it always was. I did everything short of turning the car around and going home. It wouldn't have been hard especially when I pulled into the lot and there was no parking so I had to park in another lot - yah yah I know complaining about parking too far when you're going to the gym! But truely I had never seen it so packed. Luckily inside it wasn't crazy busy. I wasn't all that thrilled with my outfit (hi too tight shirt!) but I began working out on a machine and was soon covered in a fine sheen of sweat. About 27 mintues in to it an instructor came in to get water (oh yah I chickened out and worked out in the women's only section) she started encouraging people to come in and take her class. I looked at the clock and thought why not. It was some sort of body blast class with loads of cardio and light weights too. I could not believe how fast the class went and it reminded me how much I love taking classes. Before I knew it 45 minutes had passed and the class was over. She wanted us to stay for some slide class which I later learned was only 15 minutes and if it's what I think it was would have probably been pretty fun - next time.

And now? Now I am so freakin' sore! The legs are killing me! But you know how I feel about workout pain - I love it!

Alright time to go kill a little more time before bed time. I plan on getting a good night's sleep tonight even if it kills me!

9:04 p.m. - 2008-10-27

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