curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Not just venting...I swear

I think I should get one of those sleep masks that have the eyes on them Ė like the ones on the Ellen show. Then I could sit here at my desk Ďrestingí without disturbing anyone unless I start snoring but I guess thatís a chance Iíd have to take. My head is crazy painful right now. I donít know if itís allergies or sinusí or what but gah! I just took a pill cause I was sitting here in pain wondering why I was trying to be a hero Ė just take the damn pill already!

So I drove the junk car to work. It saddens me to drive my old car. The one that I was so excited to get just what 6 years ago? It has gone downhill big time. Electrical system is failing, it has a coolant leak that would cost thousands of dollars to fix (itís a known problem in this car but GM doesnít actually acknowledge it), the windshield is cracked, the rear defrost doesnít work and the passenger side mirror is missing. Oh and the lumbar support is shot in the driverís seat. Iím sure Iím forgetting a few things but this is also why it is our Ďin towní car. Sure Keith drives it out of town too but heís never had the pleasure of owning a car before me so címon anything is a step up for him right? I can justify just about anything.

Why am I driving the crap car anyway? Well the Ďgoodí car visited our mechanic last Friday, we stopped to finally pay him for our service last time (we werenít avoiding him heís just out of the way). Well I guess my car got separation pangs and wants to go visit him again. This is my not so entertaining way of saying that the car is acting up and if Keith doesnít figure out whatís wrong with it then heíll have to take the car in to be looked at.

Sounds cut and dry doesnít it? Itís not. You see Keith and I have very different views on car problems.

His: Ignore until you are FORCED to get it looked at i.e. broke down somewhere.

Me: First sign of a problem run to the mechanic!

Now obviously these two methods are in the extreme and we should be able to find common ground. But we canít. I mean I will wait now till the car does it again (so itís not a one-off) but Keith would rather wait till the break down. Oh heíll never admit to that but he likes to think of things as Ďquirksí or Ďgremlinsí or what have you. Um no itís a problem. Itís a problem with the car. Itís a problem with the car that we will be driving several hundred kilometres in the next few days. Oh and I did I mention that for the first time in about 5 years my parents didnít renew our road side assistance. And trust me I know how that sounds. And I really donít mean it that way. It was very nice of them to actually do this for us all these years. And I knew theyíd have to stop one year cause as nice as it was its money they really donít have. Itís just the timing of it all.

Iím a wee bit stressed at the moment. Its money, itís bills, itís worry about where the future will take us. Itís also pms. PMS has been the monkey on my back this week and not one of those cute little critter types either.

*So just out of curiosity (curious-me!) I went online to check the caa website and created an account for myself using the number on my card and lo and behold Iím still a member! It doesnít expire till June í09. I felt this huge weight lift from my shoulders upon seeing that. I have had so many break downs since I began driving at 16 that I know how it feels to be stranded on the side of the road wondering what youíre going to do. I hate that feeling of helplessness and I hate knowing how much it will all cost once itís all said and done. I began to text Keith to tell him that weíre okay but then I stopped. If I tell him this news will he go back to his original stance on ignoring the problem until it becomes huge? So I set the phone down and told you dear diary my troubles instead. (Have I mentioned my head is pounding just as bad if not worse now?) Whiny people are so annoying.

So I have misplaced a few gift cards that Keith and I have. It should be comical by now how I lose everything. My one year anniversary necklace, our Oktoberfest money, now the gift cards. But itís not. Well right now itís not (the necklace I lost I will never find amusing). Not when money is tight and gift cards would be the way to go right now. Is there somewhere I can go to get help for this? Some kind of support group? Good thing we donít have a kid I totally would have lost him/her by now!

The hubby was busy spending our non-existent money yesterday. He went to I-kea and bought a few cabinets for our downstairs bar area. We scoped them out earlier and they were a good price and were perfect for our purposes. He had bought and put them together when I got home (these I knew about). Then he told me to look underneath our tv and there stood a tiny little Wii. He bought a Wii. Yah that was my reaction too! Of course then he told me how much he paid for it and I really couldnít be mad - $16. He bought it with his points he saved up. Heís been going back and forth about which gaming console to get and when he saw my interest in the Wii he got that one. Silly man. Silly but wonderful man.

Hereís an exert of what I wrote yesterday (but never got around to posting!): Re: PMS

The worst part though (in my opinion) is the trash talking voice in my head during this Ďtime of the monthí. I have been going to the gym on a regular basis and feeling pretty darn proud of myself and my accomplishments but that little evil voice in my head begins to discount all my hard work and point out that hey not that much has changed and yah sure those pants are feeling loose but wait didnít you buy them kind of loose anyway? That voice is a royal bitch. I would like to prove the voice wrong by pointing out how well Iím doing but...I canít. Iím not saying Iím not doing well, just that Iím not tracking it. I track when I go to the gym but I wonít weigh myself on a regular basis cause I have this habit of letting the number on the scale rule me. If itís down at all then I suddenly feel entitled to eat more and not of the good food variety let me tell ya. Or if the scale is up then I get down on myself and figure whatís the point! Screw the gym, Iím not going and Iím just going to eat what I want! At least I know my downfalls! So I have been going to the gym a minimum of 3x a week (this goal was reached for February!) and I took my measurements at the beginning of February and plan to do them again at the 3 month mark. I think thatís fair. Obviously I go by how I feel on a day to day basis. I take joy in my clothes feeling less snug or fitting into something that was too tight before. I make it a point to notice and comment how well I sleep on dayís that I have exercised. I donít flop around so much and wake up less during the night

End exert.

So today I am wearing a pair of grey cords that I could not fit into a few months ago. I could get them on but forget about doing them up. Today they are on and done up! Oh donít get me wrong they are a wee bit tight but since these particular cords have absolutely no give to them and definitely no elasticity I am one happy girl. Even after eating my breakfast I can still breath. Score one for me!

PS - the hubby looked at the car and thinks it's something he can do...fingers crossed!!!

12:35 p.m. - 2009-03-04

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