curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Not all sunshine and roses I�m really not sure what�s up with my lack of updating. For the most part my time at work is spoken for. We are forced to keep stats on pretty much every minute of the day needless to say I fudge A LOT. But still, writing an entry just doesn�t seem right plus the lack of concentration not to mention for some reason people really seem to love sneaking up on me and coming right up behind me. You can only switch screens so many times before looking like you�re up to something! Nosy parkers. But really I guess if I wanted to get an entry in I could but lately my emotions are ALL over the spectrum. I can�t even blame them on aunt flo. I was going to write about my Easter and title my entry, �Easter Stork�. Seriously there is so much baby-ness out there it�s crazy! I just found out my second cousin is preggers, and also that her aunt is preggers. I am expecting my sil to be glowing the next time I see her (nothing confirmed just a hunch). Plus C is gearing up for the egg & sperm placement thing probably this coming weekend! And? And I don�t know why this has put me in a funk frame of mind. I�m happy for these people. But....deep down, there�s a part of me that is jealous. Jealous that these people are having babies with no worries about finances or lack there of, or what they�re going to do when it comes time for daycare and how they�ll afford it. I know people say you can�t let finances sway your decision but I say bull. What kind of life would it be to always be worrying about money and fighting with your spouse about lack-of and having to worry about losing your home because money is that tight. Now, financially, would be the worst time to bring a baby into the world for us. Keith�s route relief job is just too precarious. People are taking less time off, cancelling weeks, even shortening their weeks they do book so he�s now not getting paid a full weeks pay. We�re surviving but we have a LOT of money owing on credit cards and loans oh and did I mention the government? Yah they want their share....and more it seems. We�re already stressed to the max about money. Our next step is to figure out what Keith can do job wise and hey not sure if you realize this but the economy? Not so great right now! Looking for a job - any job is damn tough. Not to mention my man is smart....I mean a brainiac but that doesn�t mean he�s �qualified� to get into a good paying job any time soon. Which would logically mean going back to school. Which would mean buh-bye house cause there�s no way we could swing this place on just my salary. Not if we you know wanted to eat and stuff. And even going back to school part time while still working really wouldn't work for us since that would take for-evah and we're getting oooold. It�s just....depressing. It�s depressing watching all these other people getting preggers and having babies and yah. Oh and just to tie all this up? I�m still not even 100% sure that I want a kid!!!!! GAH! Wow - heavy. Can I really go on after that? Erm. Let�s see. Nope. I don�t think I can go into cheerful right now or just on to other stuff. That will have to be another entry. I just wanted to get these thoughts out there - I guess I�m hoping that this will somehow be helpful. Oh I guess I can mention that my face is completely Pissing me off. It�s not quite acne ridden but it�s something that is not pleasant. I�m trying to work on it but it�s slow going and who even knows if it�s working! Of course reading all the above shows that I obviously have stress in my life which doesn�t work well for the face but still I�m not a teenager anymore - give the acne a rest Ms Face! 10:27 p.m. - 2009-04-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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