curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Am I 15 again? What's with all the angst?!

In my usual morning rush to be out the door I had my hands full: gym bag, lunch bag, purse, odds and sods....oh and of course tv remote control! Yah as I stared down at the remote after locking the front door and heading to my car I knew....just knew it was going to be one of those days.

So I'm a little...out of sorts today. I kind of was yesterday too but the hubby kidnapped me for the afternoon and my problems disappeared for a while at least. It was actually pretty sweet, he saw that I was just not myself and decided to go on a day trip cause he knew it would cheer me up. He wouldn't tell me the destination but to just dress comfortably and to pack our swimsuits. Like the true fish that I am my ears perked up at the mention of swimming. It wasn't until we were half an hour from our destination and I began to see signs for Grand Bend that I knew where we were going. It's a beach that is really popular around here for some unknown reason. People go there to 'drive the strip' which is about 2 blocks in length. I'm not really sure what the point is but I guess it's to see and by seen by all the hotties that walk the strip. We are probably about a decade too old to be 'driving the strip'.

But we drove the strip, well crawled really, looking for a parking space, we went into the two lots and they were both packed and filled with cars crawling along looking for spots as well - it was insane. We finally gave up and headed a few roads over and parked at the Marina. You couldn't reach the main beach from there but there was a beautiful less crowded beach at our disposal - we even parked for free! Sometimes less is more. It turned out to be a pretty good day and got me out of my so called funk.

I should have listened to my body last night and went to be at 9:30 instead of 10:30 - my body is craving sleep right now like it's nobody's business. I awoke 10 minutes before my first alarm and did the ol' rig-a-marol of getting up, grabbing my cell and resetting the alarm for another 20 minutes. 23 minutes later I peeked my eyes open and noticed that my alarm should have gone off - I opened my cell to check and sure enough I had accidentally set it for PM - whoops.

I think part of my being out of sorts has to do with the huge pile of mail I opened on the weekend. Keith and I tend to not open our mail - we pay our bills online but since we do this seperately both of us never know quite how much debt we are in. We are in a lot. I am very bad for keeping my head in the sand when it comes to just how much we owe. I keep saying how I want to make a spreadsheet and have it show exactly how much we owe and how much we're paying etc etc. But whenever I think about doing it the project just looms over me like a dark cloud and I give up before I start. Blah.

I am also living the high that is known as PMS this week. I nearly threw away our whole nice day at the beach on the way home by putting on a huge pouty face when something didn't go my way. I'm actually downplaying it. I was near tears because I had been trying to snap a picture from the car of this huge pig statue (trust me it's more awesome than it sounds). But near tears? Overreact much? So yah my pms state and my usual procrastinating ways have just thrown me into a huge dark hole. I sometimes feel as if I have no energy to do anything and even thinking about stuff makes me tired. I doubt I'm explaining this in a way that makes sense but just know I'm not a happy camper at the moment.

I am also aggravated because once again I procrastinated in calling my doctor last week to set up an appointment - I figure I can get a few things done at once. I need more blood pressure pills and I need my girly exam to get more birth control and you to know make sure it's 'all good' down there. I figure since I have my flex day on Friday I could just book the appointment then but then I realized Aunt Flo will be there that day and put a kibosh on that plan. I have tried calling my doctor all day but either get interrupted cause I"m at reception or the freakin' line is busy. I"m just gonna have to book an appointment for blood pressure only and worry about the other thing in a few weeks - I still have bc pills so really I should just chill on not getting it all done at once. Make my doctor earn his money I guess!

Update on the doctor: Well so much for booking an appointment this week, the dude is on vacation! I have a call in to the pharmacy to get a weeks worth of pills until I can see him next week. I guess I can always go on one pill a day cause really the one pill still lowers my bp by quite a bit but I guess we'll just wait and see. I wonder if I should talk to my doctor about the lack of energy thing. I feel like such a whiner when I do stuff like that. I mean am I sick? No. Am I lacking energy? Yes. Do I feel a zest for life? Not right now. I don't know maybe I just need to get 9 hours of sleep a night instead of 8? I wish I had a better rapport with my doctor.

My appointment now is for next Thursday afternoon. I should let my boss know....but I'm not going to until Monday. If I tell her now she will COMMAND me to take my flex day NEXT week so I won't have this Friday off with Keith (he has it off too). And that just ain't gonna happen. I get personal days as well as the next employee around here so she can get that idea out of her head right now.

Alright I"m gonna post this article now cause Lord knows if I don't it will end up in the trash folder with too many of my other entries!

3:31 p.m. - 2009-07-13


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