curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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I must be in the sharing mood today

Itís Hump Day! Whatever brings me closer to Friday! Even though itís a short week it still seems too long! I am really not in the mood to work. Yesterday we had a power outage in our office around 3:30. It came back on briefly and then went out again a few minutes later Ė by 3:55 they were sending us home. It took me less than 60 seconds to grab my purse and gym bag and book it out of here. I was worried that the power would come back on and they would tell us we had to stay. My co-workers and I headed for the stairs (we werenít going to mess around with half working elevators and got the heck out of here). I briefly considered not going to the gym but since it had power (itís just down the block from my work) I had no excuse plus the extra vacation poundage that I know I put on last week was an incentive. We were told to call our Information Hotline this morning to see if they were still having power problems Ė no such luck. The whole office came in grumbling about not hearing the message they wanted to this morning.

I actually refrained from going on the world wide web last night. I didnít even turn on the laptop! I tend to watch tv and surf in the evenings Ė a bad habit I know. It beats cleaning and stuff. Although Iím sure Iíd be way more productive if I didnít have this technology at my finger tips. Itís hard to believe I actually lived without a computer or a laptop when I was on my own. I should probably have more nights like last night, even when Keith is sleeping or what have you. I may have to impose laptop bans on myself during the week. Itís too easy to get sucked into wasting away the hours staring at a screen. I could maybe put together my wedding scrapbook (itís only been 4 years in October!) that Iíve been meaning to do it! Or maybe get our bills together and start to untangle our finances.

I have a big decision to make in the next few weeks. Iím thinking of going off the pill. I have one pack left and I have to see my doctor to get more. Iíve been doing some serious thinking about going off them. Iím going to be 35 in a month. Iíve been on them for about 10 years now I believe. Itís a scary prospect though. And...a baby could happen. Other measures would be taken to prevent that but they wouldnít be as foolproof unless I want to another permanent kind of birth control IUD for example which I donít want to do. This makes me think Iím gearing up for a baby eh? It still scares the crap out of me thinking about having a kid right now not only financially but emotionally. Keith and I are just so Ďfreeí right now. We go and do what we want without a care in the world. We have no pets so we donít even have to worry about anything. If we want to pick up and go for a weekend we do. If we want to book a week off and go away to somewhere tropical, we throw it on our visa and go. A kid would cramp that kind of lifestyle ya know? Plus as cute as babies are...they grow. You have to worry about day care and schools and bullies and eventually them becoming sexually active at too young an age. It scares the bejeezus out of me just thinking of it. I just donít know. I really donít. Just when I think I may have talked myself into the baby thing these doubts come flying at me and Iím back to square one. I guess weíll see how the talk with my doctor goes about stopping the pill. He may have an input about my stopping them. I wouldnít see why he would encourage me to stay on it but ya never know. Oh and the thought about never knowing when I am getting my period (you know down to the exact hour) scares me. Too much to think about; I think my head may explode. This may also be the reason I keep myself busy in the evenings Ė if I donít think about these things I donít have to deal with them! (If only).

Alright enough about babies letís talk about sex Ė sort of. So a few nights ago I had this erotic dream. It wasnít so much the act of Ďdoing ití even though it was in there it was more how sexy I felt. Powerful if you will. It was a rush. It also wasnít with the hubby but hey I can be forgiven for that right? Letís just say it was too bad he was at work when I woke up. For the past 2 nights I have had dreams in which Iím being rejected by the men in my dreams (again not the hubby). One is an ex and last night it was some random cute dude. They were choosing someone else over me and I was hurt and pissed off. I have no idea what these dreams mean but damn it they should want me cause these are MY dreams! Oh yah the first dream was with a dude from work. It is so weird having one of these dreams cause if they are ones that stick in your memory you almost feel shy around this person when you see them at work and you pray to God there is no way they can read your mind as you feel a blush start to come over you. Just an fyi that I am not actually attracted to these men in real life...only my dream one it seems.
My radio station is frustrating me today as it does most days. It seems I can no longer listen to Ďeasy rockí as they make me want to throw my radio out the window. I now listen to a local rock station and most of the songs are okay but they have several throughout the day that are just so screechy either the singer or guitar solo and I have to instantly turn the volume all the way down Ė itís not only annoying and offensive to my ears but Iím sure to all those around me in their surrounding cubes. Enough with the shrilly rock already!

Well I feel I have bared my soul enough for one day. I should probably try and do some work Ė the last thing I feel like doing btw. Hereís hoping for another power outage today!!!

12:10 p.m. - 2009-08-12

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