curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paralyzed Well b-day week is officially over. It was a good one - except for the..you know..getting older part! I had a lovely weekend with the fam. Keith and I headed to my parents place Saturday afternoon. I got to spend plenty of time with baby D - he's getting so big! I also got to go to the demolition derby which was great as always. I should put that on my bucket list - I would love to drive in one - with someone else's car of course! Therapeutic! I got some wonderful gifts. A few gift cards, cash, an awesome lunch bag (yah it is awesome I swear) and a whole bunch of other wonderful thoughtful gifts. We stayed up way too late playing scrabble Saturday night - 1:30 - but I was still up at 8am to play with baby D. I heard him up a few times throughout the night but I didn't move then! Keith and I had the dreaded conversation again on the drive home. What's going to happen come the New year when he decides not to move on with his current job. He hates it and it is wrecking his body - especially since he limps everywhere due to his torn ACL. Surgery is up in the air and we're not even sure whether our doctor office even sent the referral - I told him I would follow up this week. I just sort of...shut down when we start talking about this stuff. We don't have the means for him to go back to school. We can't afford to live off just my salary. It just....sucks. Sometimes I just start to feel so overwhelmed with where I am in my life. I'm now 36. I have a great marriage but...life is tough. The health issues hang over my head, the fact that having a baby may never happen due to age, finances and all the unknowns of the upcoming year. It just...doesn't exactly motivate me. It's kind of paralyzing. Wow - this entry just took a downward spiral. I blame it on the drive home and my fatigue. Speaking of which I am going to bed now! I need sleep and I think tonight I will have no problem falling to sleep! I just better not turn on the tv upstairs though - about a boy is on and I can't just turn it off once I start watching! 9:58 p.m. - 2010-09-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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