curious-me's Diaryland Diary



How do I begin this entry? Just tell you the results and work backwards or start at the beginning and lead up to it slowly? Ah hell I have nothing but time on my hands so let's go the slow route shall we?!

This week has been - Hell. Pure and utter Hell. I have gone through so many range of emotions. I have cried at the drop of a hat. Yesterday I told my mom about what was going on. I had thought about it beforehand during my lunch walk and of course I cried. In person - nothin' plus I totally down played it. Of course I was also angry at the time so that probably helped. Why was I angry?

Well I came home to a message on my answering machine from my doctor's office - my doctor would be out of the office the rest of the week so I should call back next week to find out when he would be in next. WHAT THE HELL. I was beyond angry. What is going on with him???

I couldn't do anything since the office was already closed for the day. So instead I waited for my mom to arrive. She did and we had a wonderful evening together. We ate at Red Lobster (YUM), took an amazing walk and looked at hundreds of wild trilliums and did a little shopping. We then came home and played some scrabble while hanging out and finally going to bed at 11:30. I decided to go in late to work today in order to see my mom off. Life is too short not to put your loved ones first. Being half an hour late isn't a big deal in the scheme of things.

Once at work I called my doctor's office when they opened. They told me to call next week to hopefully book an appointment with my doctor. I told them I was awaiting test results and was anxious to get them. She then suggested I come pick them up and take them to a walk in clinic. Um okay. They were open to 5.

I almost got up and walked out to pick up the tests but since I had just got to work I didn't think that would look too good. Instead with hardly any effort I pushed the day along and soon enough I was shutting down my computer and rushing the hell out of there. (I am now remembering things I forgot to do). Traffic was HELL. I was sweating bullets watching the minutes tick by...4:47....4:51. I wanted to run cars off the road - why the hell were they driving like elderly blind people???

Finally I arrived at 4:53. I pretty much ran to the desk and the woman remembered me and handed me my tests just like that. I did inquire about my doctor as in um should I look for a new one? She didn't say much but something is definitely up with him. I told her he had got mad at me for not coming in earlier to get checked out but we laughed as I told her he wasn't even here to see most the time. She suggested I get mad at him when I saw him next. Not so sure that will work! I walked out to the car and knew I wasn't going to wait til I got home to read the papers. I scanned the 2 pages. Medical jargon. But I could make out things - cysts - enlarged liver. Interesting. But what the hell did it mean???

I went home, got on the net (nope not to google those things) but to find out what time the clinic was opened til. Oh 5pm. I found another clinic I had never been to that was open till 8pm. It was worth a shot. I excruciatingly drove there in rush hour traffic (hey people your gas peddle is your friend!). I walked into the clinic - it was empty. Wha?? The girls at the counter told me this was extremely rare. I gave them my info and was immediately brought into a room. A visit to the clinic is minimal 1.5 hours. Always.

An old guy walked through the door - the doctor. Man was he crotchedy. I don't think he grasped why I was there. He kept typing away on his damn laptop rather than you know....see and talk to me. I guess they have to document the appointment but really? He was suprised I was carrying my results - so I told him AGAIN my doctor had gone AWOL and I was instructed to go to an urgent care clinic and get a doctor to go over the results with me. He finally (after I prompted him) did what my doctor didn't and felt the damn lumps in my stomach. They were what I had always suspected - lipoma. My fatty bumps. He said the word lipoma and it was all I could do not to fist pump the air. The pain was the puzzling factor but soon him and I figured out that the pain was caused by cysts. Cysts that I am prone to. Cysts that they can't do anything about. As for the fatty liver? He said that's normal too. And probably more cysts. Wow the more I type that word the grosser I feel. I had started to get upset a few times in the appointment when he seemed to be brushing me off. I think he thought I wanted him to FIX me when all I wanted was help with figuring out what's going on inside me. Finally when I stood up I thanked him for telling me what was wrong and that I was happy. He kind of snorted as if in disbelief. I told him I was serious I was really worried after the tech concentrated on my liver and I thought there was something seriously wrong with me = I was just glad to know I was okay. He then lightened up for the first time and smiled and we parted ways.

I walked out of there in shock. I know this cause I walked around a second hand store in a daze and finally disgusted with myself for wasting time I got the heck out of there, got in my car, began to sing and drive at full throttle and thanked God I was alive and okay. Okay.


8:30 p.m. - 2012-05-03


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