curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Guilty as charged

I wrote this a few days ago and figured what the heck let's post it:

Thankfully this 3 day work week is going pretty fast. Work is slow though so that is not helping. I am taking time out of my work day to make my lists. I am making lists of lists. Seriously on my “July 2012 Vacation – Part 1” List I wrote “Beach List”. I have made a check sheet for when we go to the beach and so yah I have to check off that list. I think it’s a sickness but I can’t help myself I Love Lists! And as per usual I am dying to get home so I can start organizing and cleaning the house. This my friends is what my mind does to trick me! It tries to convince me we should get on out of here and if I leave work NOW then I will totally clean and organize when I get home….instead of running to the basement and hiding in the coolness.

I went out at lunch today on my never ending search for blue sandals. You think blue would be easy to find but here are my requirements: cheap (under $40), strappy, not bulky, they can be flat but not totally flat as my arches will kill, maybe a kitty heel but I’d have to see if I could walk in them, not a dark blue, not too light of a blue, definitely no high heels. I’m sure there are other requirements but that’s all I can think of right now. I had a brainstorm on my way back to work – I am going to stop looking now and once we cross the border on our vacation I will resume my search! I won’t go gaga looking for a pair but if we are in a store with shoes I will be all over it searching for my perfect pair. It would awesome if I found a pair there as whenever I wore them they would always remind me of our trip! Our trip which I have no idea where we are going. Still.

This weekend we have to change the oil on the car and I should probably give it a proper cleaning on the inside – it’s always good to clean a car before a trip so you can get it nice and dirty! I also want to clean the house. It needs it plus it’s always much nicer to come back to a clean house!

So T and I went swimming last night at our old swimming hole. We haven’t been to that one in probably over a year. The pool is huge and the slide is free to use, although that slide is beginning to freak me out cause I go so fast it scares me. Little kids creep slowly down it while I am screaming by the end – and I’m not a screamer. Normally I am thrown out of the slide sideways and always go under the water. T confided in me (although I am almost the last to know) that she thought she was preggers last week. I asked her how cause she’s on the pill. She then told me that she went off it as her and her hubby were actively trying. I ain’t gonna lie I was a little put out I was the last to know! But now since they found out they weren’t pregnant she is considering going back ON the pill and they will try later. It sounds like they got gun shy when the moment came. They have to decide by this Sunday whether to keep trying or not (she has to either go back on the pill or not). I have a feeling they will keep trying. She says she’s scared (who wouldn’t be) but she also seemed to get pretty excited when talking about it. Plus she said she bought like a dozen pregnancy sticks so she might as well put them to good use! It will be so weird seeing her pregnant!

In sadder news my sil’s father is in the hospital – he had a heart attack. He has a lot of health problems but the guy always seems to make it through. In one sense I think the family is waiting for it to happen but it will obviously kill them emotionally when it does. My poor bro and sil – moving, switching jobs, selling and buying houses and now this family emergency. I don’t know how they are holding it together.

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So that was a few days ago. Last night I was a train wreck. My parents had called and told us that my older brother and his family would be in K town where my younger brother is and my older brother would be helping him fix the house (so it can go on the market). My parents decided to join the crusade along with my uncle and aunt. They wanted to let Keith and I know as well in case we wanted to go up to....but no pressure. All I felt was pressure! We had so much we wanted to do this weekend not to mention it would cost us minimum $250 for gas, lodging and food. Money we need to take our vacation next week. Ugh the guilt. I had text my brother and sil to get the scoop - how much stuff was left etc. No answer. Finally last night I called them and it was all chaotic as they had company and it was dinner time (7pm I'm not rude) so he let me go. So I called my parents and tiptoed around saying no that we couldn't go up. Then I proceeded to be upset for the remainder of the night and even cried at one point. The guilt. I felt bad as my dad is gonna be 65 and my uncle 75 and they shouldn't be pushing themselves plus my dad has a torn bicep tendon (wth?). I woke up this morning still kind of upset but starting to get over it till we went to W-mart where I got mad at Keith and just about walked out of the store.

But we both calmed down and once back home I hugged him and told him it wasn't his fault (he blames himself for us not going) and told him if I really wanted us to go we would have. End of story. Then we did a crap load of yard work - we filled 4 huge bags with debris. Our yard looks so much better now. The oil changing will have to wait til tomorrow. Then we went downstairs to hide in the basement cause it is still hot as hell out there!

Oh and I found out where we're going for part 2 of our vacay - CHICAGO!!! We have minimal time there so I am sleuthing the internet so we can make an itinerary so we don't just get lost and walk around looking like idiots and never see anything! There's a good chance of that happening anyway so wish me luck with is research!

4:13 p.m. - 2012-07-07

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