curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Mostly I'm just frustrated

Have I ever mentioned before how much I hate Monday’s? I have? Alrighty then – moving on.

So our Saturday was wicked productive. It might even go down in history as the most productive day we’ve ever had. We will sit around campfires and speak of this day to anyone who will listen. They will nod politely and then think what wankers we are cause they are that productive every weekend!

But regardless we even went to Toronto and back all before noon. We shopped in Ikea in less than half an hour! Seriously this is the stuff legends are made of! While at the farmer’s market we got to view a car fire. It was also quite hot while walking around – then of course I’m all like ‘ugh it’s too hot’. Now granted I was in jeans, socks and shoes which I would never normally wear on a hot day – I need my feet and legs to be bare. Eventually we made it to Keith’s parents where I sat at the table outside with the women in the family while Keith worked like a work horse clearing away wood and debris – the ice storm we had a few weeks back really did a number on the trees outside the house. It was a fun afternoon and I even left with a pink face from sitting in the sun.

On Sunday I was the opposite of productive. I didn’t even leave my house – no wait I went outside for about 15 minutes right before it started to rain in the afternoon. I kind of feel bad I was so unproductive cause I wanted to do a few things but wasn’t really feeling it.

I got a headache. It is gloomy and grey today to match Monday of course. I woke up from a recurring dream I have had for many years. The dream is always slightly different but the theme is the same. I am with my first boyfriend (we were together 7 years) and in my dream I am so unhappy. Normally he and I are breaking up in my dream and most of the time I am slightly sad but for the most part I realize how miserable I was with him and am upset for that reason. Most of the time he is with another girl immediately after we break up and even that doesn’t bother me in my dreams! I don’t even want to analyze that dream or even why I have it so often (probably every year or so). Nothing that I know of triggers them – like seeing a pic etc. And yah for the most part we had a very turbulent relationship. I didn’t realize how relationships were meant to be – I had an idea in my head – but for the most part I didn’t understand the mechanics of them. Sometimes I’m kind of sad when I think about the years I spent with someone who I know didn’t treat me right.

On the wknd I was watching some Gilmore Girls and every time I see the episode with Lorelai’s father in the hospital I am immediately reminded of one of the worse days of my life when I got the call from my dad that my mom had had a heart attack and was in the hospital and the doctor told him to call us and tell us to come. I was in complete shock. I lived 5 hours away, I had just broken up with my boyfriend for the 100th time. I, of course, called him immediately and told him. His reaction was cold and he basically asked me why I was calling him. To this day that conversation brings chills to me when I think of it. I hung up and was about to call my brother for a ride when suddenly the ex called and told me of course he would bring me and he’d be there in 20 minutes. It was so confusing and so upsetting. To do that to me during the worst time of my life was horrible of him and I know deep down I never forgave him even though that week he acted like a saint and was totally there for me. And we even stayed together a few more years. God, I was dumb.

Anyway… hair is a little darker today than it was yesterday. I did a little root touch up and I try and use the box that is just for ‘roots’ but somehow I still seem to have oodles left over and before I know it I’m painting my whole head with that tiny brush they provide.

A few minutes ago I was getting changed in the washroom after my walk at lunch and a co-worker who was also getting changed – suggested I run with her and a few other girls sometime. Oh hells no were my exact words to her. Seriously, it is all I can do some days to walk – running is not my forte. I don’t think it ever will be. Plus I am just starting to get my stamina back by taking my iron pills so I know this ol’ bod isn’t even up to it even if my spirit was.

Well off to eat my asian pear. I’m a little afraid – Keith and I bought one each cause they looked interesting – he had his yesterday and I don’t think was overly fond of it. I am always skittish of new food so we’ll see….

Oh and my pet peeve of the day - Blogger. So I was sent an invite a few weeks ago to someone's private blog - the link expired in 30 days unless you signed up. So I signed up and have my own blog (ugh) but now I cannot find the invite or the blog I went there for and I am so frustrated I cannot even tell you! I even asked the girl for another invite that is how stupid I am. Where the hell did her blog go??????

9:37 p.m. - 2013-04-29


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