curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Cautiously optimistic....

I wrote a poem once about how love was a roller coaster ride, well that roller coaster ride extends to life as well, as I'm sure everyone who is alive and breathing can testify. This past week was quite the emotional roller coaster for me.

I feel like every single emotion has been wrung out of me....several times over. I've tried being the supportive wife. I've had moments of extreme sadness regarding our situation and even came home sobbing one night because I was tired of being the 'strong' one. I've also gotten quite angry about our situation and even vocalized it a bit (but mostly just internalized it). I've even had a few moments of peace where I just decided to pray and let the worry be taken off of me for a bit. It hasn't been easy though. A couple days ago we set up our bill payments and we both watched as our account kept going down after each bill (gulp). Keith is still getting chunks of money here and there for what he's owed although they owe him a few hundred dollars in vac pay that they aren't being forthcoming with.

Keith did have an interview on Wednesday - one week from the day he was let go. That wasn't lost on either of us. Tuesday night we were on top of the world just thinking about it. Wednesday evening we were back to feeling vulnerable after Keith mentioned the stack of resumes the guy who interviewed him had on his desk. I decided that what we needed was a play day - at the beach. The weather had just turned - no more humidity - and I needed a hooky day. I hmmed and hawed about it and didn't make up my mind til Thursday morning when I called in. After the call I tried to sleep but couldn't so I got up and went for a walk in the hills. Keith hadn't been 100% on board as he felt the weather was going to be too cold.

We got to the beach about 12:30 and well it was cool. There were plenty of clouds covering the sun but when it did come out it felt heavenly. Finally around 2:30 the clouds left and the sun came out to stay. I got to use my beach chair that I bought at the end of last summer and as I told Keith it exceeded my expectations which he was surprised to hear. The chair is awesome. We had a few moments of not happy beach times near the end of the day. We were snippy with each other because stress just doesn't go away cause you are at the beach. We eventually hugged it out and I bought us fries and onion rings with the money my mom had given me a month or so ago. We drove home mostly in silence - not a bad one - just each to our own thoughts. We got home bbq'd a hamburger for dinner and then called it a night.

Keith wasn't sure why I pushed for the beach so much yesterday. I told him that my train of thought was that he would soon be working and we wouldn't have a chance like this for who knows when? Him not working and me being able to call out of work. Whatever job he gets might require weekends. I just thought it was the perfect time. I applied and reapplied sunscreen all day and only came out a bit pink on parts of the legs. The arms are getting to be a lovely color though.

Tonight I came home to our florida car up on the ramps and the bad news that it's undrivable until we get the brake line that is rusted out fixed. We layed around digesting that information and the fact that the interview guy never called until our stomachs reminded us it was past dinner so we drove to pick up some cheap pizza and came back home to continue our Dexter viewing (last episode of Season 7 - 1 more season to go!). We got a call during dinner.....

It was the guy Keith interviewed with offering him the job!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay believe it or not I am trying to contain my excitement. But hot diggity damn Keith got a job almost 1 week after getting let go from his temp job! And? This job isn't through a temp agency!!! Like I said I'm not going to start counting the income just yet as he has to a) actually start said job b) make it through the first day and c) not have the universe shit on us. So yah. Cautiously optimistic? Yup.

Tomorrow Keith meets with him to give him his banking info and he starts Monday. Tomorrow evening we are headed to T's where we will have dinner then a few drinks and are spending the night. The plan is for the boys to go fishing while us girls get some girly time. I also hope to see my bro, sil and D and his little brother for a little bit of time tomorrow. They are in town for a wedding and are staying with her brother. It's a short visit but I'm hoping hugs and kisses for the short people happen. My sil put up the saddest video clip of little S on a swing being pushed and he looks beyond sad. Why would an almost 2 year old be so sad? He doesn't talk much which I think worries his parents. They are looking into it. D is a talker. S is the silent one.

Alright I babbled enough. Time to post. Here's to an employed husband come Monday! Deep deep breath....and let it out.........

9:32 p.m. - 2014-06-20


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