curious-me's Diaryland Diary


I must have one of those faces

This has been an interesting week. It's one of those weeks where I actually feel like an adult. I mean I know I am one but most days I don't feel like I'm in my 40's. We are a child free couple and have few demands on us so we are pretty carefree. We have responsibilities like bills etc but in reality when you log into your bank account and move some money around to pay them it doesn't up the adult ante for me at least. With all that said it's been a tough week.

I am on vacation this week. I had decided to plan a visit to see my parents and take my mom to the movies to see a movie we had both talked about - turns out she had already seen it. I thought briefly about scrapping the whole idea but there was a part of me that prompted me to still go. So I okay'd it with my sister-in-law (she was hella excited at the news) and okay'd it with Keith to lose me for a few days and then I committed to arriving Monday evening and stay til Thursday morning. I considered shortening my stay but in reality it was just a full 2 days so I kept it.

My nephews were over the moon to see me. My parents were very happy to have me there and my sister in law was excited I was there for a few days. In all honesty I was a bit overwhelmed with how happy everyone was that I was there. I could write paragraphs hypothesising on the why of it all but I won't. I spent most of Tuesday with my parents and went to one of my dad's doctors appointments with them. Then we went out for lunch and then some thrift store shopping (they spoiled me at both places). Then it was home and I hung out with my nephews until their bed time and then my sister in law and I went out grabbed some snacks and we played scrabble with my mom til 11:30 at which time I was toast cause the night before I had stayed up til 1am talking to my parents and getting up at 6am when my 4 year old nephew stood beside my bed until I let him crawl in where he proceeded to talk at me til we were both wide awake.

My mom suggested I spend some time with my sister in law one on one which was very generous of her as I knows she misses me. I told my sil we should hang out and she was very excited. So on Wednesday after some kid obligations for her she and I went to the gym together and then out to lunch and then a bit of shopping before heading home so she could pick up the boys from school.

But Lunch. Lunch deserves it's own paragraph. Lunch was my adult moment that made me sit up and realize all was not as it seemed. My sil ended up spilling her guts about the past several months and confiding in me that her and my brother's marriage nearly fell apart....due to my brother's actions. The story she unfolded before me left me reeling and questioning everything I know about my brother. I am not going to get into what transpired because as I told her this is their story and I won't gossip (I know this journal is not gossiping - it's me processing). But she did end it by telling me that their marriage is now stronger than ever and they are united and committed. She also told me that what happened strengthened her bond with God which kind of blew me away.

She needed to talk to someone as she hadn't been able to confide in anyone close to her. She apologized as she knows he's my brother but I waved that away and told her she is just as important to me. Imagining them not together and their little family torn apart is something I cannot even bring myself to think about. I will continue to pray for them and try to support them as best I can.

I left Thursday morning so grateful that I had listened to my gut and went on this mini vacay to be with my family.

My husband was pretty happy to have me home which is always nice. Thursday evening I spent at my neighbours drinking wine and shooting the breeze for over 3 hours. I'm wondering if we may just become friends after all. Oh and ps her cleaning party that I co-hosted with her last week went great. We had a decent size group and sold a helluva lot and one of my friends even booked her own party so it turns out I am getting a lot of free stuff from this party so that's cool.

Tonight I went to the movies with one of my belly dance friends. It was just the 2 of us which was a first as normally we are a 3-some but our other friend moved to T dot. After we left the movie (teh 2nd 50 shades - totally don't recommend it) we stood chatting outside my car and next thing I knew she was spilling her guts to me! We ended up taking it to my car so we could warm up and we talked for almost half an hour about her dual life. I've known this girl for a decade and yes it's only the last few years we've actually hung out and chatted but I feel like I barely know her. I mean the stuff she talked about was family drama and craziness that really why would you bring up? We always got together to have a laugh and a good time. But she said she feels comfortable sharing this stuff with me now and I just sat there wondering do I even know people? The real person? Am I naive to take people at face value? Maybe I gave off a vibe before that was more closed off? It is hard for me to get close to people and let them in. Don't get me wrong I am VERY friendly but few people know ME - the real me. The funny thing is I'm not sure if people meaning my 'friends' even realize this. I am the one they talk AT normally I am the listener. If they were given personal questions about me would they be able to answer? I feel I could write essays on my close friends but could they do the same?

Alright I am getting way to into my head and I am way too tired for this. It's after midnight now. I think I am fighting a cold. My massage almost got cancelled today but after 8 hours sleep my scratchy throat had gone away but as the day progressed (after the massage) I began to blow my nose non-stop. So I am going to go to bed and get another 8 hours sleep in hopes that I can nip this in the bud right now.

11:26 p.m. - 2017-02-24


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