curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Authors....are people just like us who knew

I met an author! I went and listened to the author speak and read from her most current book and then there was a question and answer period (I had no questions) and then I stood in a line and got my book(s) signed and even a picture with her! It was [email protected] [email protected] She is a fantastic writer. Her books are huge though as she admitted she can't write short stories. She puts out 2 a year. I am on my third book of hers. This whole thing happened by chance. My belly dance friend had emailed me a few weeks ago asking if I wanted to attend with her I thought 'hm I'm not doing anything that night sure'. Then my friend's mom had a stroke so I wasn't sure if it would happen. Turns out she needed last night - to get away from the reality of all that is going on and for some friend time. It was a dark, cold and rainy night last night which seems to be the norm whenever I go out lately but I persevere. I even parked under ground at the library willing to pay the few dollars for a warm dry place to walk to and from. I got there ahead of M and got us seats - first I chose 2nd row then I decided heck no - front row is where we should be!

The author was a great speaker. She spoke about how she got into writing and about her life. She spoke how she came up with ideas. Then she read from her novel and I was captivated. She spoke to the room and made good eye contact. I sort of felt I got a lot of eye contact but I also tend to nod and smile a lot as I am happy to be there and like for people to look out and see a friendly face! Turns out when I got my book signed she asked if we had met! I looked familiar. Alas I told her that is something I hear often which is the truth. I must have one of those faces.

Last night I went with a not so great attitude and a headache to match. It wasn't that I didn't want to attend I had had an emotional afternoon. I had gone and seen my Specialist for my diabetes and I"m not sure what I was expecting but I didn't get hugs and good news. My husband even sort of skirted around it but didn't come right out and say "You were sent to a Specialist for a reason how could you not expect bad news?". I mean it wasn't exactly bad it's just I thought there would be more give and take more conversation about my health. Instead I basically learned I am at the high end of the most effective meds on the market and the fact that they are not working is not good. So I am going on completely different meds. These will apparently suppress my appetite and if I do eat too much OR eat greasy or fried food I will feel nauseous. I have been warned. I got the feeling that she thought I was a bit of a quitter or whiner due to quitting the last meds I was on due to the yeast infections. Unless the nausea is extreme I'm pretty sure I can handle it. And supposedly it's only supposed to be bad if I eat the greasy or fried foods (you know everything good). So I left there in tears (not in front of her) and upset mostly with myself. This is MY health. MY life and I have taken a backseat. Not only that I am in the backseat and I am blind folded. Content to let doctors give me meds and then make a half hearted effort when I am pushed to be involved in the process. I was beyond upset with myself. I drove home and cried some more in front of my husband then I deflated like a popped balloon and just let it go for now as I knew I would be a wreck meeting up with my friend later that night. I did go to the pharmacy and drop off my prescription, I pick up the new meds tonight.

Today there are no more tears. I am determined to stop being a passenger a blind one at that with my own health. I am middle aged. I can't keep denying or refusing to think about my health issues. I need to take control. It will take more than this lip service to get things rolling but at least it's a start. I am determined to give these new meds all I got. Play by the rules.

Tomorrow evening I am meeting up with C to go visit T's store and a slew of others during their [email protected] week. Then it will probably be a x-mas shopping this weekend with Keith. I will need the cheering up I am sure. Reality can sometimes bite -hard.

10:01 p.m. - 2017-11-16


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