curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Goals and Wishes

Written on May 4th:

A goal without a plan is just a wish. This line has been running around my head for the last few days ever since i read it again recently. Now I don't know if I mentioned this but I am trying to lose weight. This resonates with me because hi, I don't have a plan! Well I have very vague plans - exercise often, drink lots of water, eat more fruit and veg and keep away from the crap food. Vague. I don't think out my meals, I don't address my crazy sweet tooth and try and come up with options that are of a healthier version. So yah that line is super true for me right now. I'm on my plateau for like 4 weeks now - gaining and losing the same 2 pounds. It's frustrating. And I admit I am my own worst enemy.

Last night I fell off the wagon....the chip wagon. I broke my rule and had chips during the week (weekends I try not to eat them but if I do they are usually watching a movie with the hubs). I ate pretty much the whole bag. I'm sure I only left the ones I did so I didn't feel so bad. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that I also haven't gone to the gym all week. I backslide way worse when I avoid the gym. And the reason I avoided it this week? It all boils down to my lack of sleep! When I don't get my 8 hours I feel like crap and by the time I send my hubby off to bed and leave him around 7 I am so tired it's all I can do to drag my butt to the couch and avoid doing anything at all! The one night I was kind of up for the gym on Wednesday night was the night Keith was feeling ill and he stayed up til 8:30 and since I call my parents at 9pm for our weekly chat heading to the gym was a no-go (plus going at that time is too late for me).

So I have to Plan! I have to make a schedule - I have to STICK with the schedule. I have to buy or make better versions of snacks/meals for myself. Just saying I'm going to eat more fruit and veg isn't enough. I have to actually SHOP for them and PLAN them into meals. I have to get tough with myself cause I have to make these meds work! The meds only do so much for me, it's up to me to do the rest. And lying around eating chips and watching big brother is not the right kind of plan!

May 6th:

Yah so all that planning jargon above is going to start tomorrow - yup Monday - how original!

I did end up going to visit my friend S for her b-day party and I got SUPER drunk. I mean I haven't been like that in a long time. It just sort of snuck on me. There was homemade margaritas involved and wow they packed a punch. I just remember getting back to S' and sitting on her couch and hearing my gravelly voice and just really wanting to close my eyes and go to sleep! Although it was like 2 in the morning so fair enough right? I also drunkenly took my necklace off as I was falling asleep and 'threw' it towards my overnight bag - yah I have no clue where it is! Thank goodness it was a thrift necklace but it was also one of my favourites so that kind of sucks. Hopefully S finds it.

Alright I am too tired to finish this update I need to get to sleep asap! I just wanted to post the May 4ths update because if I didn't it would go in the recycle bin instead! Ciao!

10:09 p.m. - 2018-05-06


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