curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Damn nothing is ever that bad is it?

I miss writing about carefree happy stuff. Oh it's been a horrible emotional week and tomorrow will be the worst. Tuesday I made plans with a co-worker to drop my old bike off at her cousins on our lunch hour. He fixes up bikes for people, but I was just giving him my old one as I no longer use it and it was a pretty good bike back in the day when I bought it like 15 years ago. He can fix it up and sell it and keep the money or keep the bike for himself - it's a gift. About an hour before lunch I ran into her and she looked super bad and was visibly upset. She waved off my questions and just shook her head. I asked if she still wanted to go out at lunch and she said yes.

At lunch when we left she told me she had just found out a co-worker of ours - a woman I have known the whole 18 years I"ve worked there wasn't in the office because her 15 year old daughter died. I asked how and she just shook her head. Later I prompted a bit more just to clarify not thru an accident or violence etc. She said no and then when I asked by her own hand she just looked at me sadly.

Later that day at 2pm all managers called their teams into a meeting and told everyone. My co-workers and I spent the next 2 hours basically standing in a circle and just trying to come to terms with it. This was a beautiful girl from a good home and from the outside looking in had a pretty great life -but as we all know things are not always what they seem. There was something terrorizing this young girl and it managed to drag her down in the worst way possible.

Tomorrow I am going with several co-workers to the afternoon visitation. It is going to be so tough. There is a pall around the office and I barely got any work done today. People on the phone were annoying the hell out of me more than normal. You get to the point where you just want to scream at them about how fragile life is and to stop bitching about their pathetic little problems! Yah not so customer service oriented.

In other news I made it to the gym twice this week in the mornings before work. Monday was super hard even after 9 hours sleep (I only had a couple hours sleep Saturday night after partying at the Farm). Tuesday was a bit easier even though I had little sleep again. I was going to go to the gym tonight but it's been a damn emotional few days and I am exhausted - physically and emotionally. I plan on locking this house up tight and going to bed by 10 tonight.

Why am I locking the house up so tight you ask? Well that is due to the little case of drug paraphernalia we found outside our door step hiding in the weeds behind a wooden case on our driveway. Yah crack pipe and all. This is NOT the kind of neighbourhood I live in. I was and am freaked out. Then tonight a guy came to our door to ask if we found his ipod in a black case his brother 'threw' in our yard. He has to know we found it. But we're not about to give him the drugs! I can't believe I"m even typing this. Keith did call the cops and they told him to throw it away if it didn't have drugs in it. But now that we know it does Keith is going to drop it off at the police station. But holy messed up! I am creeped out thinking about these guys using our house to hide their drugs and walking around it while I"m sleeping - especially on the nights Keith leaves for work at 3am!

I"ve mentioned to my neighbour and she is going to keep an eye on the house as well - she can see our house nice and clearly and for once I am quite happy about that!

Funny enough I"m sitting here on my bed with the window wide open and I keep looking out - it's pitch black - and I hate the fact that I am now paranoid. I always close my window when I go to sleep only because I don't like the sound of traffic but now I will be locking and double checking that lock each night. Ugh - stupid drug addicts and dealers (my neighbours!!)

Alright t-minus 4 minutes to bed. Time to brush these pearly almost whites and head to bed. I'm not going to the gym tomorrow but I will go tomorrow evening because I have to kill some time before heading out to meet my friend at a bookstore at 9:30 at night for a 10pm event! I did say no when she first asked me then I was like - yolo - you only live once! She really wanted me to come so why not?

Alright time to go and post this - hopefully it works - I've read people are having problems - and I still can't get into locked journals - gives me an error page but at least I can get into regular ones.

8:44 p.m. - 2018-06-06


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