curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Not the answer I was hoping for

It's nearly bedtime but I had to get this out of my system so I hopefully don't think about it all night. I got a call back about the paperwork from the kidney donation people. I am Not a candidate. My BMI is slightly too high plus the fact that I am on medication for high blood pressure and diabetes. I think I already knew I wasn't a candidate but there was still a part of me that had hope. For my dad. I had to break the news tonight while it was still fresh with me since it was our weekly chat night. Ironically my dad had spoke to his doctor today and they had a chat about which people wouldn't be a candidate so my dad already kind of new. But I could hear it in his voice - he sounded distracted and a bit distant. He said he's accepted it because he knows he's older and the more he thought about taking a younger person's kidney the more he leaned away from it. But that could just be words to make me feel better. I just know I'm a bit blue from it.

Hopefully this weekend will give me a pick-me-up that I need. Our girls wknd seems to be happening. I saw T tonight when she was in town to visit her mom who is dog/house sitting for a relative. They invited me over and we hung out for a few hours. T and I discussed the wknd on our way to our cars and it seems to be a go. I am going to pack my bag tomorrow - I didn't want to jinx it before this!

In other news my neighbour asked me to watch their 3 bunnies for 2 weeks while their family goes on a cruise in March. I am going to admit that I struggled hard over this. I like animals. I don't like caring for animals. I mean sometimes I think about my future and when Keith and I are less mobile and not so carefree with the weekends and more settled I guess then I could kind of see us with a dog. But right now in our life we are pretty carefree and I like that. The animal watching would happen over my mom and sil's b-days and St patricks day. Both those wknds I would like to go away. So even though I have guilt at saying no I did indeed say no. It was a bit of a commitment as I would be going early in the morning around 6 to let them out and roam and then reigning them back in to their cages until that evening in which I would go over and feed them and clean their cages etc and I guess keep them company for a while? I think Keith may have actually wanted to do it but he would have been every now and then where as I would be all the time. Ah I'm just making excuses it boils down to I didn't want to do it so I actually said no. Big step for me. It only took me 44 years to work up the courage to say no to people!

Tomorrow is my Friday - a super short week due to being sick. Not sure a lot of work will get done. Actually this week is probably bad for stats purposes. Today our system was down for 1.5 hours - which is my prime time to work on my paperwork. Tomorrow we are having a small get together for my boss - who is leaving the office - still my boss but leaving another department. So there will be food and not working. Plus I am leaving early. 45 minutes early. I am going to the doctor with Keith. He has a mole we both thought didn't look good. I saw it on the wknd and even he agreed it didn't look good. Plus he has this spot on his back that has always bothered me - when I scratch his back he sort of hunches his shoulders forward and there is a spot that pops out - like a lump - it's been that way for years but something about it bothers me and he knows it so finally we are going to show the doctor. Even if it's nothing I will feel better for having it looked at. I won't let me mind go to the other place. One step at a time.

Alright time to hit the sack. I am tired. I drank a diet coke last night a few hours before bedtime and my body would not go to sleep. Tonight? It is ready.

9:56 p.m. - 2019-01-23


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