curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Have YOU ever wondered?

This weekend was a test in patience. I am getting to be a control freak in my ongoing years and I have realized this and come to accept it. This weekend I came up with an idea to go to an Escape Room for my sister in law's birthday. I have known this lady since I went to high school. We dated the same guy - her first me second (they were like 2 years and we were like 6). Then she met my older brother and the rest is history. Despite this we have never been that close. We don't hang out one on one. Truthfully we never have. We always hung out in a group of friends. Wait we did go to a Michael B concert together - actually 2 in a row so yah that happened 25 odd years ago. Anywho just giving you some back ground info. She has never been one to celebrate her birthday, it's just another day to her which is sad to me as you know how I feel about celebrating mine! So this year I thought hey let's do something! I thought my older brother (her husband) could come and my younger brother and his wife. A group of 6 adults. Maybe have dinner out with adult conversation and then go to an escape room where we can interact with just each other and not worry about having to look after the kids or breaking up a fight etc. That didn't happen for a few different reasons. Basically I gave up the planning to my sil and younger brother. That was a mistake. They eventually contacted my older bro and gave him an outline of the plans. Minus the very important part about it just being adults. Can you see where this is going? My plan had been to have the older kids watch the younger for a few hours while we went out and had fun. Everytime I brought this up my sil "joked" that her kids would lose it when they found out they weren't coming. Mkay. Fast forward to the night before where my older bro when asked if his kids wanted to take the younger to a movie said nah his youngest wanted to come to the event so it was all good. I still have no idea if my brother was playing intentionally dumb or just didn't know it was an adults only thing. But all that was a moot point.

Keith and I pulled into town yesterday and I was told that my older bro was in the hospital undergoing tests as he was having chest pains. He was ok but they were doing tests just to be sure. Everything was up in the air at this point. His family was at the hospital with him. Up to that point the b-day girl had been kept in the dark. So finally after many texts and conversations we found out my brother was sent home, he was ok but was tired. He had convinced my sil to come out with us (the room was paid for regardless if you cancelled). She then advised 2 of her kids were coming. She had no idea they weren't invited in the first place. So 3 of them and 6 of us. 9 people. The room allowed 6. We had been granted 8 due to the 2 youngest coming - that whole part was super shady cause I was confused why my sil had called and asked if her 2 boys could come but neglected for our nephew as he was the reason her 2 boys were now without a babysitter?? It was very bizzare but it was also at that point a lost cause. Plans were kiboshed. We were emotional due to my brother's circumstances so 8 of us went into the room while my sil who planned the event sat out. I felt bad for her but she insisted. We still had a good time but it was a muted good time and the night ended when we escaped the room (we won). There was no cake or all going back to one house and celebrating. It was a very weird night and I am just going to chalk it up to one of those things I had no control over and not harbor any grudges or negativity about. The b-day girl said she had fun so that's all that matters. I saw them in church this morning and my brother looked super tired but seemed in good spirits. I hope he follows up with his dr soon and finds out what the issue was. We have a bad family history for everything - name it my parents have had it!

After church Keith and I were supposed to leave but ended up having lunch with my younger bro and his fam before we left town. I had initially wanted to hit the book sale on our way home. It was $1 book day. But we left too late for that to happen. I had went on Friday evening by myself when it was regular price and got a decent haul. I was a little peeved with my friend C though. We go every year and this year she just wasn't 'into it'. It was in her home town and I normally drive over and we grab dinner and hang out and then hit the sale just spending time together. I was hurt that she felt that way. She was on vacation as well - stay at home - do nothing all day. Couldn't claim being too tired! Anywho she had asked me to stop by after words and I went home instead. Text her when I was halfway home and said I was too tired....and I forgot. White lie. I'm bad for that. I really was tired though - it had been a strange week for me.

The weekend before was Oktoberfest. We had a pretty decent time. I could have done with more partying in the club but my neighbour is pretty lame like that so we left after 2 hours of being there. Fine I still had fun. Sunday I wasn't hung over because the partying was short. I was tired and had the start of another cold. Or as I called it a continuation of the cold I got before my b-day. I felt like I never got rid of my cough and felt run down this whole time. So I was kind of relieved in a way to get this cold as I felt it was only a matter of time before I got sick again. Monday and Tuesday I went to work feeling sick - sinus cold. But I did rouse myself to go out with C Tuesday evening as we had made plans to have dinner and do a bit of shopping - I was looking for plain blue dress pants for work. Never found them. Wednesday I went to work but left at noon. I was done. My head was swimmy and I was making so many mistakes with my work it worried me a bit. So I went home and just rested. I didn't really sleep but I felt so much better just laying down, drinking tea and doing nothing. I text my belly dance friend/teacher and cancelled as I knew there was no way I would be up for driving to and fro that evening.

How do I talk about the next part? Have you ever wondered if an ex has thought of you? I have. I've often wondered if any of my exes ever think of me? Was I a large enough part of their lives that I made an impact? Did I cross their minds? Or would they be like nope I never look back!

That evening out of the blue I get a text from J (he's mentioned in this diary when I first started it). He and I dated 17 years ago and writing that makes me feel so damn old! J was the one guy who broke my heart. All my other relationships ended mutually. He dumped me. I went thru many stages when that ended. We became 'friends' on fb a few years ago and exchanged 'hi' but that was it. Oh he did reach out once and ask if I had sent a x-mas card to the troops cause he got one with my first name on it and my hometown. I had to tell him no I hadn't. He's in the army now btw. When I dated him he was a floater and lost. He was also 7 years my junior and only like 20 years old so understandable.

So he text me and asked me a very generic question - what was my ex R's sister's name? She had joined us one year at Oktoberfest. I answered and then replied with this is a very random question. He then said he had just been thinking about it and couldn't remember her name and then we went on to chat for the next hour - checking off the boxes - married? children? career? We caught up. Then I figured we were done and was about to call it a night when he started asking questions about our past. Basically he asked my very question "do you ever think about me?" And oh boy did that lead down a very interesting rabbit hole. It boiled down to Yes. He does. Then he gave some examples that blew me away. He is married and apparently thinking about having a kid with his wife so yah a very odd conversation to have.

I can't lie our conversation did leave me reeling over the next few days. Part of me was like YES - that's right YOU screwed up when you dumped me SUCKER! Ego boosts can be pretty heedy. But I am slowly returning back to reality - in the here and now. That was 17 years ago. Thanks for thinking about me but let's get back to our real lives now eh?

And on that note I am going to throw my very real laundry in the dryer and get ready for bed. I am so damn tired. I slept very little this past weekend. I at least have a 4 day week to look forward to, not to mention halloween. Keith and I finally bought our pumpkins before we left Saturday. I hope Keith sleeps well tonight cause he loves halloween but he also got the cold and is a couple days behind me wellness wise. Plus I had the extra bonus of having your ego stroked so you know that gives the ol' spirit a lift and a little bit of pep in the step. I can't help it I'm human!

But back to laundry, bed and this upcoming week. So it goes...

8:33 p.m. - 2019-10-27


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