curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Suck it up buttercup

Oh I should have written the first entry of 2021 yesterday believe it or not I was a much more positive person! Yah I wasn't happy my holidays were over but I felt prepared to handle whatever was thrown at me - and I did - handle it that is. It was a good day.

Today on the other hand? F*ckin brutal. Work shit. Always work shit. I'm getting sick of having more bad days than good. I think I am going to start monitoring my blood pressure during the work day just to see. I don't want to re-hash it - I just want to note somewhere that it sucks and it's bad. It is hard to stay positive when so many people are mad/upset at you all day long.

ANYWAY shake it off. NYE turned out to be a fun night. We zoomed with friends for almost 3 hours chatting and playing online games. We snacked our way thru the night and then around 11:45 we headed outside and met up with our neighbours and we all rang in the new year yelling and making noise and it was nice. Funny story tho none of us had a timer so we didn't have the countdown from 10, 9, 8 instead we were like Oh crap it's midnight! Happy New Year! Fun.

I decided to lay off the junk food and let me tell you it's been hard and it's only been 2 days. As I am learning I am a stress eater. So in the afternoons (hi work!) or evenings when I am bored I like to munch on the good stuff.....and I don't mean veggies! I'm also forcing myself to get outside more. Winter sucks but I've decided as long as the sidewalks aren't sheer ice and it's not a blizzard then I will take my lunch time walks again. I've even managed to walk after work this week as it's still daylight at 4:30 (yay!). Besides that I'm just trying to watch the carbs and portion sizes. Gotta get healthy somehow!

I haven't decided whether I am annoyed or flattered with T yet. So I bake cookies at x-mas my chocolate chip shortbread and I love making them and giving them as gifts. They are awesome cookies and take a bit more preparation than just throwing ingredients in a bowl. She asked me for the recipe. My first initial thought was NO! Then it's not special! So I decided if she asked again I would give it to her - she has a very short attention span so odds were in my favour. But no then again like a week later she asked - because apparently her kid loved my cookies. I decided Fine take the higher ground and sent her the recipe. Secretly I"m hoping she doesn't have the patience to make them (there is wrapping of dough and chilling for hours etc). Let it go....let it go.

Then she informed me today she booked a weekend away in the summer at my favourite beach place! The one I go to every year in September for a solo get away. Well damn. Okay. Fine. I guess I can share. THEN she just sent me a text asking what the hotel was called that I went to a few months ago with Keith because she wants to take her daughter there for her birthday in March. I mean c'mon! I guess I should be happy? Am I an influencer? Ha.

Just heard on the news today that covid rates are soaring and that almost half Canadians polled admitted to seeing and visiting family during the lockdown. I have so many emotions. Anger, sadness, rage. Knowing how hard it was to be away from my family just fills me with so much of the bad feelings that leave me feeling raw and really pissed off with the world.

Okay I am feeling quite pissy and ranty so I think I shall end this entry. Time to get ready for bed and re-charge for tomorrow. It's gonna be another stellar day - I already know this because of the schedule we were sent.

I think I just have to remember....nobody said life was fair.

10:04 p.m. - 2021-01-05


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