curious-me's Diaryland Diary


An entry literally about Friends

Ah yes now I remember the frustration that is my friend T. We have hung out so little the last year and a bit due to Covid and before that we just didn't hang out that often due to life and it's busyness. But I have now seen her a LOT since I helped her move into her new place.

In the past T has annoyed and hurt my feelings by asking me to do things or making promises and then breaking them without a second thought. Well she's back to doing it again! I went for a walk this afternoon - a casual stroll in the park and just thought about it all. I had put all the blame on T and the shitty way she treats me but then I realized I too am responsible. I allow it. I don't speak up. I laugh it off. I'm too accommodating. On my walk I decided no more. I'm going to speak up. I have a voice.

I also realized - and this sounds bad but she says things when she's drinking and then forgets. Last night she asked me to come over again TONIGHT to hang out with her and another friend. I mean put aside the covid issue which I wouldn't be comfortable with even though both of them are vaccinated. But she hasn't seen this woman for several months and I have hung out with this lady maybe twice in the last 15 years? I wouldn't be comfortable watching them reconnect and knowing that this lady was probably irked that I'm there when she probably wants to catch up with her friend. Long way of saying I told T to text me when the lady was coming over. I didn't agree or disagree. Well guess who hasn't text me and it's almost 10pm? Am I upset? Hell no! I'm happy cause my answer would have been no but what if I had really thought it was happening and had planned my evening around it? Got excited?

But the real reason I was upset was that next weekend T is going to MY beach - the one I go to every September for my solo trip. Staying at the same place. She confided that she had originally planned to ask her step daughter to go but then that got kiboshed and last weekend asked if I wanted to go. I jumped at the chance - hell ya! My beach place! Now jump to last night and T just casually tells me that she asked her mom instead.

Before I get too upset I know her mom is not doing well mental health wise and T basically said as much. She was like I just know my mom needs this and then added on a "sorry babes". I think it's just the casual way I am thought of or not thought of I should say. I would never begrudge her bringing her mom - hell this is HER trip but treat your friends with more kindness and respect.

This is me venting. Getting it off my chest. But yes I have decided that I will - next time - tactfully let her know that when she does shit like this it does upset me. I will most likely use humor because life is not a rom-com book. T and I don't really talk like I do in this diary. But I will make my true feelings known.

For now I will let this go. I know T is going thru it. I'm not going to spill her business but suffice to say she is just fine in the MEN - plural - department. I also know most of the stuff she does is just to feed her ego but I do worry about her. Okay enough about her.

In other news my brother turned 50 yesterday. We had a family zoom which was awesome. My mom gave my brother a letter she wrote him when he was a few weeks old. Apparently several pages. I would love to read it someday. My dad was crying just watching my brother read it (and my brother was crying)!

After my walk in which I sorted my feelings out over T I came back feeling better. I had been feeling pretty crappy. It did not help I had been out til 1am again with her and was tired. But I had got up did dishes, put out the garbage and trimmed some weeds sticking out of the fence on our driveway - our neighbours have lovely bushes on their side and we have annoying shrubbery that scratches our cars. Anywho I got all that done before Keith got home. Then we had lunch - leftovers from dinner - and watched the Friends reunion show which yah made me cry a couple times. That show can make me laugh every single time I stumble on it.

Once back home after the walk I decided to work on the basement and actually did go down there for a few hours! I finally got all of x-mas away (I know) and tried to just tidy up the odds and ends down there. We have the city coming next week I think to look at something and ALL the boxes have to get moved out of the furnace room so I figure to make life easier clean up as best I can to have somewhere to put the boxes. And I really do hope we can put that crap back in after the city people come and then maybe - please God - just start working on the basement again. Pray for me!

This evening we had dinner - Greek inspired - but Keith forgot to buy the best part - tzatziki! Ah well. It was still good. Then we watched a movie - a super old one! Saturn 3 I think it was called. Not bad for the time but the ending was meh. I got to eat a lot of popcorn during it so I was happy!

Now Keith is in bed and I am just going to chill for a bit then hopefully go to sleep at a decent time! I don't really have anything on the agenda tomorrow. Church, zoom with my mom and maybe a trip to W-mart for some essentials? Oh and I should probably fit a walk in there too.

OK - relaxation time is calling me.....cause T sure isn't : P

9:26 p.m. - 2021-05-29


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