curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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The beginning of the end....December already

Ok time for a quick update. I started one last week but deleted it all. It was super depressing. Also not my story to tell. My sil's step dad has stage 4 cancer and my sil is stressed beyond the max. He just found out and the day before he found out he disappeared for a whole day. Got up in the morning and drove off. We later learned he remembered nothing and was lost most of the day. We guess the cancer has got into his brain. It's beyond sad. My sil's mom also has dementia. Oy. It's a lot.

I am tired. I got 5 hours of restless sleep last night. I went to a party and we drank - I luckily got a bit buzzed but not drunk. S on the other hand was not so lucky. Poor girl was passing out as we sat talking after midnight and then just finally went to bed. I asked her how she was this morning and she said she paid a midnight visit to the porcelain god so not great. She also mixed a LOT. I guess sometimes you don't get wiser the older you get! I"m just glad it wasn't me.

Speaking of not getting wiser I hurt my friend's feelings the other day. It was miscommunication but I sent a work email to our close group of co-workers about a get together and I apparently said things she was unhappy with. I let that info sink in before I replied. She had basically ignored me all day Friday - I thought she was just busy and that's why we weren't chatting until she sent me this long message. I chose my words wisely and after several attempts I basically took ownership and apologized. I made her feel bad and I felt horrible. I didn't want to excuse away my behaviour. I looked back at the email and realized yah what I said could be misconstrued and made her look in a bad light which was NOT my intention at all. I was rushing and it was a week where I was just emailing and planning and following up and just rushing and yah I made a mistake. Still not an excuse I shouldn't have written what I did or at the very least passed it by her before sending it out.

She forgave me by the end of the day and told me not to feel bad. But I do. I never want to hurt someone I care about.

I then had to put on a happy face and go out with another friend to an event we had planned. I didn't mention what happened (the 3 of us are good friends) because I knew this friend would end up making me the good guy in all this. She has told me over and over how much my friendship has meant to her especially these last 2 years in covid and how much I have helped her.

Sigh. Anyway for the record I wanted to mention it here just so I can try and avoid doing that again!

I'm supposed to go to a team lunch on Tuesday. Not my team. My old team. My team is 5 hours away. My manager was supposed to fly there but his trip got cancelled. He wasn't thrilled at first that I am engaging with my old team but I was like why do I have to be by myself when all the other teams are getting together? My old team likes me and invited me on their own free will! Just a shame his plans changed - but by the sounds of it they are going to try and re-arrange a new date so they can all be together.

I am going to get ready for bed shortly. I am going to try and set my alarm early and get up and mail 50+ cards. I worked on them all last week for our staff association and finished them tonight. I"m also sending 2 gifts in each envelope so I needed to buy and track those. It was confusing and chaotic at times but I enjoy the challenge. We will probably call it a day with the association after x-mas. It may fold or someone may take it on. We'll see what happens.

What else? Got my x-mas tree up. We did the small one on the the kitchen table again. We only use the table for storage so I cleared it all off and the tree looks great. We have an ornament with Keith's mom on it that we got when she passed away. I always hang it near the top. Almost every ornament I hang has a memory and I love looking at them all and reminiscing. Anywho I took a pic of the tree and the light from one of the bulbs totally shines behind Keith's mom and makes her bright and clear in the picture. I showed Keith. He's a man of few words but I pretty much teared up when I saw it. It was just cool.

Ok time to wrap this up. My bed is calling. My body is going to be so happy to be swadled and cradled in my huge comfy bed tonight. I sure hope I didn't jinx it!

Off to dreamland...

8:27 p.m. - 2022-12-04

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