curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Putting things into perspective

This will just be a quick entry. I'm pretty spacy today. I found out last night that my dad is having complications from his surgery on Monday. The doctor is puzzled and my dad is in pain. My mom is coping but I can tell she's a little frazzled. My heart is heavy with what everyone is going through. I would trade places with my dad in a heartbeat. The man is my rock. Both of them are. Seeing one of them ill and in pain kills me. I can't think about it for too long or else I can feel myself get teary eyed. So I'm coping the best I can. I'm heading up tonight after work. I was only going to stay until tommorow afternoon but due to circumstances I may stay the whole weekend. S was going to have a St. Patty's party. I love the gal but I know I won't be missing that much. It's odd how this makes everything that I've going through with J pale in comparison. I would rather go through that hurt everyday of my life than have one of my parents ill like this.

Apparently my new car is sitting at home in my parents driveway waiting for me. Purple is gone to her new home. Shaky sigh. Changes.

I spoke to J last night. I called to tell my brother I was on my way and J told me he was outside waiting for me. Then he went on to tell me how sorry he was for everything and how sorry he is that he hurt me. He said he's been thinking about stuff the last few days. I imagine it's because our 2 year anniversary would have been this Monday. I told him that he's told me this before. I was nice about it. Then my phone cut out. A big old laugh over that one. Being the nice person I am I called him back and told him that I didn't hang up on him it was my phone. He had thought I did. Then I said goodbye and we both hung up. Closure? Hardly. But it's a start.

Anyway, yesterday at work my boss called me and a co-worker into her office and told us that we'd be getting a week of training on the phones next month. This is a big deal. For a company that preaches customer service they're not to quick to arm their employees with all the knowledge they should have to provide it. I've bitched about this for months. I'm wondering if I pushed her over the edge. She has the special phone that can listen in on our calls and I guess she's been listening to mine - heh. She cited an example from yesterday of my answer to a caller. It was funny. Hey, I've told them before I needed training - it's about time they're doing something about it. Phones are only part of my job but if someone's away then it can become my whole job for the day. Knowledge is power. You think these folks would know this by now.

I'm going out to lunch with S and C today. We're going to the Swiss. I better stop munching on crap or I won't be hungry. I was talking to S earlier and telling her that I might not make it back for her party. She was okay with it. It kind of pissed me off cause she was acting all casual and like "hey everything will be okay with your dad, no big deal" kind of attitude. I don't need that. I don't need over the top concern either. I just need, "I hope everything will turn out all right, give your dad my best," kind of thing. I don't want it down played. Yah I'm on edge. I've been told I can leave early but first off I think my brother has classes right now. And I think my mom would want us to come tonight. I think she wants to conentrate on my dad. When I get there I'm gonna have to make sure she's eating and taking care of herself. Unfortunately she's not in the best of health and has a heart condition. Worry. That's all I seem to be doing lately. Worrying and Praying. The power of prayer.

Okay I ran out of things to say. I know I can't believe it either. Everytime I start thinking of something, my new car, going out to lunch etc. my brain circles back to thoughts of my dad. I think I'll go play my mind numbing addictive game until lunch. The afternoon is my busy time so that will take care of itself. Think good thoughts everyone.

12:30 p.m. - 2003-03-14


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