curious-me's Diaryland Diary


I'm baaaaack

Whew - it's been a while! My vacation was awesome - except for the whole missing my boyfriend part. But besides that spending all that time with my parents was actually really good. The older I get the more I appreciate them. My mom was sick with some kind of bug on the way down so she slept most of the way. My dad and I actually carried on conversations by ourselves (I love my dad dearly but we just don't talk the way my mom and I do) so it was nice to have that time to ourselves. My dad and I took turns driving and I found out that I'm the first person he's done this with. Usually he's the only one who drives - I feel honoured.

Yah so the week in NS flew by. It was nice to kick back and relax and not have to worry about work and life. Just let things roll.

I got back on the Sunday to spend time with my boy. I think my family wanted me to stay till Monday but Keith was off Monday so I really wanted to hang out and be with him. Man, every once in a while it hits me that I have fallen for this guy big time. We had a fight of sorts last night. You see I'm a jealous person. I'm not proud of this fact and believe it or not I use to be way worse. I mean to give me credit I've had some pretty cruddy things done to me by guys in the past and thus I'm suspicious of any woman who sniffs around my man. Well Keith chats with a few online friends and while he was checking movie listings for a movie last night he has a screen that pops up and shows who's on IM and I saw the nickname of one of the girls and we had a short conversation about her and then I told him I didn't want to talk to him at the moment and went into the living room. He apparently called me back but I didn't budge. So he didn't budge either. He went had a shower, got dressed, put his shoes on and then when I asked what he was doing he said it was obvious he was leaving. So I told him since it's his place I'll leave. He ignored me and went outside. So I turned off the tv, put my shoes on, stepped outside, didn't see him so I hopped in my car and drove home. As I was walking through the door my phone was ringing and it was him saying what an idiot he was - I didn't correct him. We had a chat and confirmed that we're both idiots and we're both way to jealous for our own good. He says he's becoming quite jealous as time goes on. Plus when I arrived at his place yesterday he was still in bed and he had been awake for a few minutes cause he had had a bad dream that we had broken up because I started seeing my ex again. He didn't let that dream go for a while. Of course I had a similar dream about him about a week ago, so I know how much that sucks - but he wasn't around to reassure me. Last night he slept over. He went to bed earlier than me since he was really tired (and cranky heh in my opinion only of course). Then this morning we woke up around 5am and know did some stuff...and then he got up and I went back to sleep. When I woke up he walked into my bedroom with a tim's coffee for me and an egg mcmuffin from McD's. He had walked there this morning to get me it since I was telling him I had to go grocery shopping and had no breakfast food. What a guy.

He's supposed to sleep over tonight since his work shift is changed for the day after - I love having him sleep over. I just love being with him. I just love him period. Sigh. Who's being a mushy girl?

My mom (when we were in NS) asked me if I thought this was long term - she's never asked me that before about any guy -I told her yes. I think I have to get over the fear of by my saying this outloud things will go wrong. It kind of happened with J so I'm all paranoid that if I go on about how happy I am with Keith then something bad will happen - ie breaking up! So here's my first step towards getting over this fear. I'm also all gushy cause I was re-reading his emails to me from the beginning of our relationship. I couldn't stop smiling as I read them. I just remembered being sooooo nervous talking to him over the phone and seeing him in person. Now we fit so well together that I just have to thank God that I found this amazing guy to be with. I almost wrote that I don't know how I'd live without him. But that would be a lie. Life would suck without him but as I learned (the hard way) life does go on even though you're alone. And over time life does get better. But boy oh boy it is so nice to be with someone who you love and who loves you back just as much.

Wow I think I should have titled this entry - gushing about being in love!

1:44 p.m. - 2003-09-03


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