curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Short on happy, big on bitchy - cheers

Oh my goodness, this day isn't shaping up very well. Not at all.

Let's see it started off with my alarm going off at 7 - again giving me enough time to do some yoga, I layed in bed trying to figure out why I would want to do yoga in the morning - what was hoping to gain from this? So I continued to lay there in my warm comfy bed listening to the rain. "Rain! Shit! I have to walk today - yick!"

Finally I got up a few minutes before my normal time and piled all my dirty clothes on my bed (darks, whites etc) and there is a crap load of them, more than 4 loads. Yay. After this I got ready for my shower and as I'm doing this my phone is ringing - it's my boy. He's tired. Which really means he's cranky. Yah we argue about dinner tonight. It's enough that I'm somehow going to walk home in the rain, gather my gym stuff together and motivate myself to actually go to the gym but he also wants me to find 'something' for dinner at the grocery store while I'm there. I'm not amused. I just want to do one big shop for the rest of the week and get it over with. I hate piddly shopping everyday. It's a time waster. So I get off the phone quickly with him as I can feel my blood pressure raising and I don't want to have a fight over what we're having for dinner - that's just dumb.

Fast forward to my walk to work. As I'm walking I'm looking at my umbrella. It seems off. Not quite right. So I'm sorta examining it and notice that one of the little arms is broke which means at the mere hint of wind the thing blows inside out. Nice. It's my replacement from the first one that I bought. Now as I'm examining my umbrella and coming to the conclusion that this brand is a piece of crap, a car similar to my own - same color and model - drives by and soaks me. Yah nice. I'm half way to work already so I keep walking. Mumbling swearwords for a few blocks.

Now I here I sit, after an uneventful morning of working away feeling all blah. It's still pouring rain. My plans for tonight are up in the air. I want to do laundry preferably at a laundromat since I'm gonna be doing at least 4 loads and yah, my shit-ass dryer doesn't live up to its name. It believes that delicately damp (if I'm lucky) is just ducky. So I end up hauling up a wet load of laundry up 3 flights of stairs and begin hanging them anywhere and everywhere. One load is no problem, two is a challenge more than that and I look like some welfare mom who tries to save money by not using a dryer. Pheh.

Now you may not be able to tell but I'm kind of feeling a little blue today. With a dash of anger thrown in for good measure. Which all equals to mean - I'm pms'ing. The first thing I did after arriving at Keith's yesterday and waking him up - I did the dishes. Oh praise womanhood. I love having all my hormones thrown out of whack. And really you can't really blame it all on pms cause I know deep down all men believe that it's a myth and that women use pms as an excuse. I swear if someone came up to me right now and said that I would rip their heart out and make them eat it. Nuff said.

So on my walk to work I tried a little trick to see if I could force myself into a better mood. I took everything that had happened to put me into a craptacular mood and turn it around. Let's try it shall we?

Okay first off, I should be thankful that I am healthy enough to be able to get up in the mornings and do yoga. I should also be thankful that I have a place to get up with a roof over my head and that I am getting up to go to a job that while frustrating is still better than a lot of jobs out there and that pays pretty sweet. Um. I should be thankful that I am close enough to walk to work and also that my umbrella while broken still protected me from the rain. Oh and the important one was that I have someone who loves me enough to call me in the mornings when they are tired and just want to go to bed just to say hi and chat with me for a couple of minutes.

You know...that kind of worked. A bit. The mood is elevated a little. It's a start. Now if only I could get rid of this lower back ache that goes along with the afore mentioned pms - my motivation for yoga tomorrow morning? We'll see.

Here's to a better afternoon and maybe even a half decent night - despite this pouring down rain.

12:29 p.m. - 2004-03-30

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