curious-me's Diaryland Diary


A slap on the hand for me & it stings!

This has been an odd day. First off, I'm making an entry during the 'busy' time of Diaryland - that's a first in a while. The other? Well I've been busted. Big time.

My surfing days are over at work. This morning as I was wolfing down a bagel I had quickly toasted and buttered sparingly (I stole the butter from someone in the fridge) my boss called me into her office. I assumed it was to discuss my co-workers 'situation' from Friday. Nope.

Apparently my internet usage was 'audited' and on that one week in April they clocked a lot of time for me. Too much time. I guess my boss just now had a chance to look at it. So I got a written warning. This one won't go on my permanent file but it will the next time it happens. They will now be continuously auditing me from time to time. Nice.

So how am I making an entry now you ask? Am I a 'rule breaker'? Nah - it's my lunch time. This is my 'allowed time'. The other 7 hours of the day I'm supposed to give to the job. Who comes up with these rules?

I don't know. In the back of my mind I kind of saw it coming. I know it was a huge possibility. In fact I think part of me was just waiting for it. I kind of shocked myself while in my boss' office. I totally didn't get flustered or start babbling like an idiot. I just kind of sat there nodding my head as if to say, "yah you caught me, my bad. Yup, I understand the consequences, this won't happen again." So there you have it.

The one thing that got to me? Was when she said she was disappointed in me. God I have such a huge issue with this. For some reason, I can't stand for anyone to be disappointed in me. That is pretty much the majority of why I won't move in with Kieth. I know my parents would love me and not disown me but I know they would be deeply disappointed in me. I remember when I was 16 and lied to my mom about where I was (I said I was at S's when I was out with an older guy). The only thing that really sticks in my head is my mom saying she was disappionted in me.

So of course I've been thinking of this ALL morning. I've been distracted by it. In my meeting I'm totally writing down the wrong words. I bitch about my job a lot but I am glad I have it. And in my defense I don't let my work slack, I'm always done or have everything handled when I'm surfing. My other 2 co-workers are the 2 who walk around like a bomb just exploded in their cubes and they're rushing around. One because she can't say no to the managers and direct them to follow procedures, the other because she's kinda slow on the getting the hang of things -let's just say it - she's slow. And she frazzles very easily. Me? I've been doing this job the longest out of any of them - I have short cuts, I damn well know my job! I get my work done - period.

Enough. My time is running out.

So for the last few days I've been tense as a corpse, so I called my massage girl and she's slipping me in at 5pm today. I so need this! I have my gym clothes packed and in the car but screw that noise I'm going to get relaxed!

I'm wearing white today - it's very nerve wracking trying to avoid getting dirty. No more white for me.

The jury is still out on the mini-tortillaz rice cake thingys that I'm trying for the first time. The after taste isn't so hot.

And in the spirit of finding something good to say about today? Well I rec'd my Avon order - yet another Roots bag (shhhh don't tell Keith) I'm in love with Roots stuff. I think the quality of their stuff is great.

Also - last night Keith made me laugh like I haven't in so long. We were playing some games on the computer (Family Fued and Monopoly - I got beat like a dead horse in Monopoly). Anywho while we're playing I was trying to describe a chocolate bar that I like except no words would come out that made any sense, I think I said, "bar, chocolate, long, wrapper". All the while staring at Keith waiting for him to know what I was talking about. And he throws up his hands and says, "oh-oh hot dog". I'm laughing even now. If anyone has seen Mad TV on Saturday they would get that. Oh lord I laughed till I had tears coming down my face. I love that man.

Now? Now, I need chocolate. I'm salvaging this day. *Deep breath*.

1:16 p.m. - 2004-07-20


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