curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Livin' for the weekends What a crazy-assed whacked-out week! Seriously. Every day I have written an entry and saved to post at the end of the day but I kept deleting them. Nothing seemed good enough. Plus a lot of it was made up of a whole lot of good old fashioned whining. Like anyone wants to read that - including me! So let me just sum up by saying it was a hectic week and the hormones were running high. In fact one day it even went so far that I ended up cuddled up to Keith at 4:45 one afternoon crying softly. One of those kinds of weeks. Thank goodness it's just about over. The hormones have calmed down somewhat so that's a relief. I only made it to the gym once this week. I went to my last boxercise class yesterday only to find out that nobody showed up - not even the instructor. Out with a whimper. I�m hitting the gym tonight so that's a good thing. Very. Next week I'm gonna learn how to use my legs again. That's right I'll be walking to work again. No more of this spoiled girl driving to work crap. I don't mind walking - I really don't. The only problem I have with it is that I sweat like a pig - seriously. It�s not pretty. I come from a family of sweaters. I get to work (walking at a normal pace) and my face is red and sweaty, my shirt is clinging to my back. It's just gross. In the summer I have taken to wearing an old t-shirt to walk in and bringing my good shirt to change into. I would like to bike to work but you know it's kinda hard to do since the good ol' bike was stolen. And as Keith pointed out it's kinda pointless to get one now. Although I do have to say that I could probably get away with riding it until October - and it's much nicer to ride a bike in cooler weather rather than warm. Just saying. But that's not a hint for my birthday. I've done all the hinting I could do for the digital camera I want. I can do no more. It is out of my hands. Now I must wait for 19 days to see what my b-day brings. 19? Crap that's kinda soon. I have panic attacks now and then regarding my birthday. Mild ones. Just when I start to think I'm okay with it all, I'll start to think about how I'm gonna be THIRTY and I'm not even close to being married, I'm not close to having a child. I'm not close to having a house. Mostly it's the child thing that scares me. I can do without a house. And being married would just make it official what I have already (well except for the whole 'living together' thing). But a child? Well a child is something that you can't wait forever on. A child is something that time really does run out on. In my darkest moments I let the thought that maybe I will never have children wash over me. Maybe I was never meant to be somebody's mom. That statement just about breaks my heart. I want to be a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom. I don't know how good I would be at it but I want to try. I gotta stop talking about this now cause I'm gonna go into full baby mode here and that's all I need right now - to be pining away for a baby! Getting a grip. Deep breath. Moving onwards. Let's move on to something a little more tangible. This weekend. This weekend is rib fest. I think this will be my 3rd year going. I'm not a really big rib fan except for this one weekend a year. Then it's no holds barred. Well except for the whole cost of it all. But still I usually walk away from there holding my full belly looking forward to next year so I can have them again. The first year I made a mistake of having a heavy dessert also - an elephant ear. Lord but that has lived to haunt me. Never again. And if I do choose dessert - something light! Live and learn. Well that is all for now. Friday is almost over - let the weekend begin. Since when did I start living for the weekends? Hm? 4:41 p.m. - 2004-08-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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