curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Goin' through the gamut of emotions in one entry

Why must PMS coincide with the fact that I'm getting married in a little over 2 weeks? WHY?

So at a time in the month where I am normally over-emotional, I now have to compound that by like a zillion! I don't even care that that sentence didn't make sense!

I had to call in sick yesterday. Not to play hooky either. Oh no I had to wake up with a back so sore it hurt to move. So I called in sick and made a chiro appointment. My chiro doctor did a whole lot of crackin' and some of it even hurt unlike all the other times I went. My whole left side is still tender and I can feel it seizing up as I write this. Stress sucks. S-U-C-K-S.

I feel so overwhelmed these days I can't even begin to describe it. The other night I lost in on Keith. He made a comment about the half packed boxes lying around my apartment and how he's gonna throw them if I don't move them and man I lost it. I believe I actually saw red before I burst into tears. I am as stressed out about the boxes as he is, even more so cause I'm the one who has to pack all the damn boxes. I'm the one who has to maneuver her way through in the mornings trying to get ready for work.

And so help me if I hear him tell one more person who asks how the move is going that his place is already filled with my crap and it still doesn't look like I packed anything I may be a widow before I'm a bride!

I had thought about returning to work yesterday after my chiro appointment for a nano second but then said to hell with it and went shopping. I went back to the bra shop I got my corset and bought a regular bra (although it's more like an underwire sports bra). It fits and holds the girls up without pain plus it wasn't all that expensive all things considered. They've ordered another bra for me to try on. The poor woman had to put me into like 20 bras cause my boobs are just out of control - they don't like to conform to regular bras. I did some other shopping that involved wedding stuff.

After lunch at home, I packed a bag and took a walk to a nearby park. There I spread out my blanket and lazed in the sun for the afternoon (I even have the redness to prove it!). It was wonderful. It was hot but there was a breeze. It helped me take my mind off everything for a while.

Our biggest dilemma at the moment is the fact that the Inn booked out half of the room we need for the ceremony. The lady who is in charge of this stuff is 'looking into it'. Comforting. Not. Needless to say I'm stressed to the max over this one!

Work also stressed me out today. Our boss came back and told us that the two employees we're losing in the next few months (one to maternity and one to another office on a temporary assignment) are not being replaced. Which means 6 people's work will now be handled by 4 - weeeeeee!

Can you say loco?

Then while all this is going on I learn that a security guard who used to temp for us and never showed up for work a few weeks ago died this morning. He had a heart attack.

It puts back into perspective for a while.

As much as I am driven crazy around here and driven to tears with everything that's going on in my life right now…I am alive. I gotta remember to stop and remember that at times like this.

Life is fragile.

4:43 p.m. - 2005-09-14

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