curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My dad I�m getting sick again � a cold. I guess once the old immunity has been compromised with your more prone to get sick again. But so soon? It�s sunny out right now � warm weather even. Well not that warm it is Canada after all! But still very bizarre to see green grass in January. I�m avoiding the topic I mean to write about. Avoiding it cause it�s prone to make me cry. Last night I got a phone call from my dad. He made idle chit chat for a few minutes (sometimes he does this just to check in). Then he said to me, �your mother thinks I should tell you this.� I froze � those are never good words. He then proceeded to tell me that he had been up and down the stairs a few times the day before and noticed that he was having problems breathing. He called his doctor up and she ordered him to come right over and sent him for a EKG (small towns are great for these kind of situations). He is now being sent for an appointment next week to find out if there�s a blockage in his arteries or if it�s all stress induced. I just thank God that it didn�t take something drastic for all this to happen. That�s pretty much the only blessing I can find right now. I am scared. I listened to my dad, spoke to my mom for a couple of minutes then hung up and went on autopilot for the next hour. I tried to call T to cancel swimming but her line was busy. I then decided that getting out of the house would be good for me. As soon as I heard the news I wanted to wake up Keith and talk to him about it. But he had just gone to sleep and really there wasn�t anything he could do. So I went swimming. Of course on the way to swimming I cried for the first time since hearing the news. I knew it was either on the way or once I got there and told T. When Keith got up (as I was going to bed) I told him the news. He hugged me. Nothing else. No �it will be all right�. And that was the perfect thing for him to do. I can�t stand it when people say things like �it will be all right�. How do they know? It just ends up ticking me off when people do that. So now it�s a wait and see kind of game. Part of me wants to drop everything and go see my parents. But I�m holding off till I know more. I do know that if my dad has to go through any surgery or anything I will be there for him and my mom. And last night as I was trying to fall asleep even though I was dead exhausted. I lay there and thought about my mom and her heart condition and how she has to take it easy during all this too. Worrying about my parents is not new for me. I�m a worry wart by nature especially when it comes to the ones I love. I know there is going to come a day when I lose both my parents but I cannot even fathom it right now. Or any time soon. I am rambling now. Mostly because I have to stop typing periodically cause I don�t want to cry � I�m at work � not the ideal place to write this kind of entry. But it�s on my mind too much for me to ignore. Back to work I go. 1:52 p.m. - 2006-01-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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