curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FYi - a VERY bitchy entry ahead - you've been warned! I do not know what's wrong with me. I am not having a 'Good Friday'. Forget the fact that I keep forgetting it's actually Friday and not Saturday! I had an excellent night sleep. I didn't get up till 9:30 after going to sleep at 12. It was after I woke up that it all went down hill. The morning is kind of blurry. I think it consisted of Keith and I lazing in bed until about noon. He had thoughts of nooky but I was still in waking up mode. We finally made some lunch and then just sat around for another hour or so until for some strange reason (sarcasm) I was tired and went into the bedroom to lay down. Keith followed and we actually fell asleep for a little while! I woke him up at 4pm by touching him nicely shall we say. It was then that he made some comment about me going 'down' rather than say sex which I have talked non stop of for a week or so now. Of course this totally just turned me off and I rolled over and just went into a funk. We just layed there not talking. He asked me what was wrong and I gave the ever so female answer of "I don't know". He then got up and went out into the living room which gave me the freedom to sob into my pillow. Good times. I guess I just want him to 'want me' the way I want him. I also want a little more foreplay (or hey even any would be good!). It doesn't help that any time of the day I am 'ready to receive' if you will. But to get totally in the mood I need the before stuff! Which then totally led me down the wrong road of remembering pretty much every single episode of amazing sex I have ever had - with and before the hubby! It was so wrong but my mind wouldn't stop. I finally got up and showered (about 5:30pm!) and Keith came in to talk to me afterwards. I tried to tell him what was wrong but he just didn't get it (as I knew he wouldn't so unlike every other time I just didn't feel like discussing it). Nothing got solved. No sex was had. In fact we went bowling instead. Fits right in there eh? We went bolwing for an hour then came right back home. Do normal people do this? Who goes out - bowls 2 games - and then drives right back home? No dinner - nothing. I guess I'm just not feeling the love right now. And I'm as horny as hell cause sex has been so close lately but my pride keeps me from doing anything about it. It also didn't help that last night as we were taking out the garbage I had this erotic memory of an ex and I totally making out against the side of a building. We didn't get nude or even take off any clothes just raw animal kissing. THAT is what I miss right there! That rawness! That animal passion. You know the same reason J dumped me. Wow that just bit me on the ass didn't it? I told him that raw passion doesn't last. It turns into bigger and better things. He didn't listen. I guess I should. I think I should also stop eating uncontrollably too. I know it's because of how I'm feeling. I eat for every emotion. And pretty much everything but happiness leads to unhealthy eating. I had the burger and fries for lunch (granted the fries were potatos cut into pieces and baked in the oven), finished off a bag of sour cream n' bacon chips, had half a pizza about half an hour ago and then a rather large bowl of chocolate ice cream. Plus? The gym is still a distant memory. I have so much I want to do tomorrow before we leave for my parents. I need to pack our crap up, wrap my sil's b-day present and make sure we have all our tax info to drop off when we go down. That's just the home stuff. I also wanted to go pick up some more nut things for my sil's gift. Except the store we get them at has this huge ass detour and I get lost super easily. I also wanted to finish picking up T's gift as well as go to the gym. Who wants to bet that I don't leave the house tomorrow until we leave for my parents? Our kitchen is a mess and I have no desire to clean it. Not one bit. I really hate feeling like this. I don't even have the period to blame it on! Oh yah I also cried in the shower too! I had just put the shampoo in my hair when I lost water pressure. Just a pitiful dribble came out of the shower head. I cried cause I hate this stupid apartment. I hate how we have no control over the water pressure - even if we had a house and it did the same thing the other person wouldn't start doing a load of laundry! I just really want 'our' own place. I don't want to live in 'his' apartment anymore. Cause no matter what we say - it's still his apartment. F*ck am I one bitchy girl right now. I gotta end this right now or I fear I will end up writing a lot of crap that I will regret in later days. But let me just write down this last gem before signing off. As I was kissing my husband goodnight (nap before work) I was leaning over him giving him non-stop kisses and he tells me how I can't sunburn my chest anymore. I thought he might think it red or something so I told him that I hadn't been out in the sun lately. He then tells me that no it was because my chest looked all wrinkly like as I was leaning over him smothering him with my kisses. The f*cking romance never ends around here does it? If I wasn't going away tomorrow I swear I would tie one on right now. 11:12 p.m. - 2006-04-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||