curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's a night out without drama? Yah I don't know either Holy crap is this day over yet? I am so frickin� tired right now. I don�t know what it is but at night I just seem to be so far from sleepy it�s not funny! I didn�t end up going to bed till after midnight again. This morning getting up was brutal. It seems that every morning I have this massive desire to call in sick. I think it�s just because I�ve been re-reading some of my archives and I seem to do that a lot back then. Not excessively but if I felt like I needed a day off I would just call in. These days we are so mixed up in my department � not enough people � when we do have enough people they�re not trained well enough for me to not feel guilty if I call in. (Okay that last sentence made no sense but I�m not changing it!) I can�t wait till they�re all trained. Unfortunately it could be a while cause already there�s rumbling of one of the newbies trying to escape our department already! I have a feeling when I take those sick days I may actually be sick! Anyway on to the real reason I started this entry. What a cluster f*ck this weekend is turning out to be. Tonight is supposed to be the night that I go out on the town with T and her mom. This morning I got a call from S that she would like to come into town for a visit with me this weekend � short notice but she rarely gets weekends off. Who am I to say no? So I email T to give her the heads up cause I know S sometimes gets under T�s skin (like some of her friends do to me). It took T forever to answer my email. I finally called her but she was busy. Finally this afternoon she called me back. She would like to keep it just her and her mom thing which I totally understand cause that�s how it was supposed to be in the beginning. I sort of included myself and since they both love me they were okay with it. It�s odd because I�m feeling two ways. In one way I�m a little upset that I�m not going with them cause they are fun gals and it sounds like this would have been a really good time � bar hopping at the chi chi places. But on the other hand I am glad also that I�m not going. As much as I love them I know I would feel like a third fat wheel. Both her and her mom are tall (very) and for the most part skinny. I know I�d feel awkward with them in their skimpy shirts and high heeled shoes and me in my long top, jeans and sensible shoes. Now my dilemma is what to tell S. She knows that I was supposed to go out with them tonight and was excited herself about doing it. Obviously the truth is too harsh. Plus I don�t have all that much time to come up with something since S is supposed to be at my house when I get home at 4:30. Ah � what to say what to say!? I�m also at odds about how I feel in general about this weekend. Normally if we plan things in advance than I can get all comfortable and prepared for a weekend but now I just feel out of sorts. I�ve been so busy lately that I was sort of looking forward to kicking back and doing nothing the rest of the weekend except for going through all of my clothes and weeding out the ones that I know I have no prayer of fitting in to ever again and just purging my wardrobe. I know I�ll have a good time with S once she�s here and that this is just my crankiness speaking. Well it better be. Looks like another weekend of no exercise. Man I am so bad! I went once this week. Once. I am feeling fatter by the minute I swear. I hate wearing t-shirts that are just a little bit too tight and I spend the entire time doing that pull thing to make it not stick to my body and emphasize my tummy(s). And don�t even get me started on looking at my image sideways as I walk to work. I caught a glimpse this morning and it wasn�t pretty at all. Ideally � yes ideally � I would LOVE to go to the gym on a consistent basis maybe 4 � 5 times a week right after work � then have a good healthy dinner (for the most part) with the hubby and then after dinner go for a semi decent walk. Now this is pretty much a pipe dream cause a) I don�t go to the gym after work due to one stupid reason or another b) the hubby and I don�t eat till at least 7pm and the dinner�s aren�t always the healthiest and c) I�m too damn tired and lazy after I eat to even think of going out for a walk. But. But I really want to change my ways. Especially now that the weather�s getting nicer and the clothes are getting skimpier. I just want to not feel so fat in my own skin. Blah. *Update � just talked to T�s mom cause she phoned in for a work reason and she didn�t know I wasn�t coming tonight so I told her what happened and she says the more the merrier but she�d talk to T and get back to me. I have a feeling that T is the one pushing for a night alone with her momma or at least a night without S (or heck maybe even me for that matter!). I don�t know I still have a feeling we won�t be going out with them. C�est la vie. We shall make the best of whatever happens. Drama. Always drama. DRUMROLL � we finally have a verdict! Okay so I hashed it out with T again over the phone (she told her mom that she thought I was still coming but leaving S at my place � say what?!). It turns out that S and I will be going for the fun girls night out as well. I am very happy about this which forces me to admit that I did really want to go out with them tonight and have a good time. T and I are a wee bit worried that S might be a little too much to handle � sometimes when she�s drinking she�ll get a little loose shall we say � flirting with the men and talking smack. But I figure if I have the �talk� with her before we go out about being on our good behaviour because of T�s mom (which I�m totally making up cause her mom is awesome) but will hopefully be enough incentive to keep S in check. Good lord I�m tired. Here�s to an awesome weekend � fingers crossed. 4:05 p.m. - 2006-04-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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