curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Helpless It's after 8pm and the hubby still isn't home. He got up at 5 am to be at work for 6. He is going to be bone tired. I wish there was something I could do. I can't even make him dinner because we didn't go grocery shopping and we just have odds and ends. The last time I talked to him (around 6 he was going to pick something up on his way home). I just feel so bad cause he's not only going to be dead tired but he's also coming down with a cold. I got a call from C right before I left work. Her mom has been admitted to hospital and the doctor's are giving her morphine and have decided against doing any more tests. She has lung cancer. It doesn't look good. This is all happening so fast. I have no idea what to say to C. After I spoke to her I just felt so helpless. I have felt like crying ever since I got off the phone with her. But I wouldn't let myself...or couldn't let myself I'm not sure anymore. I came home and made myself some dinner (fish, rice and veggies - the hubby does not like this dish or else I would have made enough for him too). After that I put on my tape and started to watch last week's Grey's An@tomy. George's father dies and I sat there sobbing. Not crying - sobbing over this. I don't think I was crying over the television show. But I am feeling somewhat better. I just cannot handle putting myself in someone else's shoes especially when it involves losing a parent. It hits a little too close to home. After Grey's, I watched my taped episode of Felic-ity - two more episodes to go of the series. I love how behind the times I am. But I get so frickin' excited watching this show it's just sad. I worry that it won't tape, especially seeing how close to the end I am. I remember way back when it was on hearing or seeing some advertisement about who Felic-ity is going to chose and thinking 'who cares!' and now looks who's the one that's excited. Full circle I guess. I still have it in my head that I'm going to go to the gym when the hubby gets home. I figure I will give it until 9, after that I guess I'll call it off. Which is too bad cause I'm really hyped to go to the gym this week - bah. I'm surprised I have so much energy after last night's sleep. It was BAD. I finally went to bed at 12:30 only to lay there listening to the hubby snore up a storm. I headed out to the couch a few times and everytime I dozed off I would head back into bed only to be wide awake when the hubby rolled over and snored even louder. Finally around 2am I headed out to the couch for good. I slept fitfully and was awake when the hubby came out at 5am and told me to go to bed. I awoke 5 minutes before my alarm and just felt so terrible. I got up, set my alarm for another half hour and went back to bad. I knew I would be late but just didn't care. It was either that or call in sick! I'm really hoping sleep will come easily tonight but I'm not holding my breath cause the hubby is going to be super tired and will snore more than ever. But after the day I had, I really don't mind the hubby snoring beside me. I'm just happy to have him beside me. 8:15 p.m. - 2007-01-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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