curious-me's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- don't take my sunshine away It must be a record, I have been at work on time (early even!) four straight days in a row! This is no coincidence, I have been rushing my butt off in the mornings to make sure of this. I even managed to make myself breakfast this morning (okay it was just toast and peanut butter but still). Why am I doing this? Well it�s not to win brownie points by any means but more for my piece of mind. Now CW can�t come back on me for being late or what have you. I�m feeling sort of melancholy today and I can�t really figure out why. I slept kind of poorly. As I was going to bed this story popped into my head. I�ve had this happen before and normally I just kind of think that�s cool or maybe write a line or two to �remind myself later� but this time I grabbed a pen (a very poor pen) and paper and wrote a page of the �stuff� in my head. Good thing I did cause even right now the details are a little hazy. I can�t wait to see if the writing makes sense when I go home and read it. Yah so after I wrote the page I tried going to sleep but of course my brain continued on down the writing road and I was going through my head all the scenarios I would like to write about � changing the main characters name a few times, changing a few details that would piss off my friends cause the story is based loosely on when I moved here. That�s about all that�s similar but still if I wrote about what a dickhead my best friend�s boyfriend was at the time�.yah I�m sure she�d figure out real fast that part wasn�t fiction! Anywho my sleep wasn�t what it should have been. I do notice a difference about how I sleep on day�s I exercise and day�s I don�t. I definitely sleep deeper when I exercise. Speaking of exercise and such, I�m not sure it was the wisest decision this morning as I was scrambling for clothes to try on a pair of pants I haven�t fit into for oh at least 6 months or more in this strange mood I�m in. But I did. And�..they fit! They fit!!!! I couldn�t even make the button reach the hole several months ago let alone slip that button into the hole. It was just such an amazing feeling when that happened and it just confirmed that the track I�m on is the right one for me. I didn�t mention it last night but I had a huge rant where I vented about an insensitive comment about my sil�s weight loss compared to mine from the hubby (I wrote about it in my other journal which basically is my neurotic ramblings about all things weight related). Yah I know he didn�t mean anything by his comment and it really wasn�t a hurtful one he was just pointing out how he could really notice that she lost weight of course he then tried to back peddle and say that he sees me every day so he knows it would be harder to see the results on me. Mkay believable but still feelings were hurt. Anywho it was just nice to slip into a pair of pants that didn�t previously fit. I somehow felt vindicated if that makes sense? Also my co-worker today made a comment that she sees a difference in my appearance and just asked how things were going. It�s the small things that sometimes keep you going. Speaking of the sil�s weight loss. She is doing great. We�re about the same size (we�ve shared clothes in the past or at least I should say she has worn my clothes). She mentioned that she can now fit into a smaller size and told me the number. I�m sceptical and I feel horrible for even feeling this way! I feel like I did that time with S when she told me her size and I knew there was no way she was so when we were out shopping I purposely made her try on that size and�..it didn�t fit. I�m a horrible person sometimes. I just am. I can admit it. Don�t worry I didn�t make the sil try on the size she said she was down to when we were out shopping. I�m mean but not that mean. We�re both trying to lose weight and we should celebrate every success�..as long as we�re both losing that is! Okay I think I will do something rare and post this now�not tonight! I just finished my awesome salad with grilled chicken and am going to head out into the cold afternoon (welcome back winter!) and go pay a bill that is loooong overdue and they kind of want their money�.yesterday. Ah well. The road up ahead is looking sunnier�I can see that now�.I just have to remember that. 1:23 p.m. - 2009-03-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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