curious-me's Diaryland Diary


My Grandma

I haven't written in a while - not because I'm busy but because I've been avoiding writing this entry. My grandmother passed away last week. March 25th. In a weird twist of fate as we drove home today from my parents I realized my grandmother died on the day she married my grandfather. My grandfather died in 1984. My grandma was the only grandparent I have known since I've been 10. We are not having a funeral/memorial service til Good Friday in April.

I found out the news while at work last Tuesday morning. I held it together til I left for morning coffee break with 2 co-workers then when they asked how my day was going I began to cry tears of sorrow. I stayed at work til lunch time then called it a day. I'm glad I left when I did. I had the rest of the day to let the news sink in and just think about my grandma.

Over the years I learned about my grandma's history as I never heard my dad call her mom. My dad's mother died of tuberculosis in 1956. My grandfather a year later married her sister. My grandma. My uncle J was the only child born to them and my grandma and him lived together her whole life (I'm not going to go into THAT story). This is not to say my dad didn't love her. He is quite shook up about her death. We did see it coming but it doesn't make it any easier.

I decided to go home and visit my family this past weekend just because I needed to be near them. Keith and I stayed with my bro and sil and during earth hour my brother and I finally spoke about my grandma. My mom wants us to get up and speak at the service but I have my doubts as I hate public speaking and I will probably be an emotional mess. I will think about it.

I am tired. Grieving is hard. One minute you think you are doing fine with everything and the next you are laughing at a forgotten memory which then turns into tears as you realize the love one you are thinking of is gone. Her quality of life hasn't been the best the last few years so I can only hope she is in a better place and at peace.

9:54 p.m. - 2014-03-30


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