curious-me's Diaryland Diary

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Saying goodbye to one helluva woman

It's been a while. Not sure how long this entry will be as I am TIRED and need to go to bed soon. I've been pulling late nights all week. With only a few days left before x-mas it is crunch time and I am running more behind than usual. Let me explain why.

Dec 12th I was sleeping soundly when the phone rang at 12:20. I answered and a voice asked to speak to Keith. I asked who it was, it was his brother. Keith sleeps in our spare room when he works so we don't disturb each other. I went and woke him up without hesitation and listened while he tried to wake up enough to listen. Finally I heard him say in disbelief "mom's dead". My heart pretty much stopped beating. It couldn't be true! But it was. His mom was found in front of the tv (heart attack). We didn't know it at the time but she was still there when his brother called - they were waiting on the coroner and police. They hung up and Keith and I sat there in stunned silence. We also found out later his siblings who live minutes away all rushed over and spent the night with each other. Keith says he is glad we stayed home. We stayed up til about 2am when Keith left to go drop some work stuff off and call his boss that he couldn't go in. He made me go back to sleep where I slept fitfully dreaming the whole time of my mother in law.

Before I went to sleep Keith asked me when I was going to call in to work. He didn't ask if but when. I knew he needed me and there was no way I was going into work. I looked up my bereavement days that I was entitled to and it was 3 days. So Tuesday to Thursday and I had already booked off Friday. It was a long exhausting week going back and forth to the Farm. Keith was entitled to 3 days off but his boss insisted he stay off til Monday which was amazing of him.

His mom's wishes were to be cremated but before she was we got a chance to see her and say goodbye. One of the saddest moments of my life. It was her lying there but her essence was gone so it wasn't her. Hard to explain.

This past Saturday was the visitation. The family didn't want a funeral. There were many people who came to pay their respects. I had 3 friends show up as well as my parents and both of my brothers and their wives. I was beyond touched they would drive all this way to show Keith and myself the support. Family. Wow.

I took Monday off as a vacation day as I had begun to stress out as essentially I had lost a week of preparations. I didn't want to spend the week feeling like this so I took the day off and shopped hardcore. All the small nitpicky stuff you leave last minute and of course Keith's gifts.

Now we are both finishing up our baking as Saturday we head to his family to celebrate xmas. We all discussed it and decided we should still go ahead with x-mas as his mom loved this holiday and we all felt the need to be together right now. It will be emotional for sure.

After the heaviness of that event we will then head to my family Sunday afternoon. We will stay until Tuesday then head home.

NYE will be a quiet event this year. We have been invited to 4 different parties. I said no to all except my next door neighbour. She got a maybe. We will see how Keith feels. I know he isn't up to hanging out with our friends and a noisy scene. We can stay home and if he is up to having a few drinks and seeing people we will walk across the street. Simple.

Alright I need to go to bed. I got up way too early this morning after going to bed way too late. My good friend retired and I wanted to make her day special. She works in a different department than me and her co-workers were bringing in snacks etc but I wanted to decorate her cubicle thus the going in early. My friend came in as we were in the middle of it and she broke into tears at the sight. It was quite the emotional day for her. I will definitely miss her!

Alright seriously I"m going to bed now. I"m not sure if I'll get a chance to update before this year ends but I will wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and hope you hold your family and close friends a little tighter this year because life is so damn fragile! Take care.

9:37 p.m. - 2017-12-21

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