curious-me's Diaryland Diary


Mental Health Monday

I woke up feeling melancholy and couldn't shake that feeling all day. I even shed a couple tears throughout the day. I had even bribed myself into working by saying that at noon I could call it a day and use some wellness time. Then I found out my 2 bestie coworkers are off this Friday and I was like screw that shit I'm off this Friday too! So yah I'll probably take a full wellness day on Friday "just because". Also it's mental health week - world wide? Or just my employer? I have no idea. But I think a mental wellness day on Friday ties in nicely. But part of me still thinks I should have just called it a day at noon. I got overly emotional on a call this afternoon when an asshole was pushing my buttons and I was letting him. I know better. I let them vent - for-ever and then I try and help them but today I had just had enough. See? Mental health day justified.

Also I'm just angry. I'm angry at the world around me. I'm angry at the climbing number of covid cases *AGAIN* I'm angry at churches close by and far away feeling like they are better than everyone else and just say screw everyone and have their services. I"m angry at the cops for not doing a god damn thing. Oh but walk down the road with 5 friends and you'll get a ticket! Have a 200+ service and *shoulder shrug* oh well. I'm just angry.

I think I also have leftover emotions from the weekend. Keith and I helped T move into her new place. I thought it would go quicker than it would - I also thought there would be more people helping - cause that's what I was told - turns out she turned down that help so it was just 4 of us - her and her ex and Keith and I. I shouldn't complain tho Keith did a lot of grunt work and a lot of time bent in all sorts of positions putting 2 beds together not once but twice due to missing bolts. I got a little pissed at T when I dropped something off last night and told her that Keith was really sore - also he fell off a step ladder but luckily managed not to go into the wall or window and just cut his leg on the ladder. She was like he needs to do more yoga. I felt like saying you need to be thankful for friends who do all your shit for free. Wait we got 2 slices of pizza each I stand corrected!

Whew. Yah the anger obviously hasn't subsided yet. Tomorrow will be better?

Last thing about T. I was worried about her but after hearing what she's been up to the last several months - I didn't know a lot - but last night she had some wine by some I mean a lot and the flood gates opened. She will be fine. As far as getting over her ex I mean. I just thank God she has her daughter because if she didn't I know she would go down the same road she went down after her last break up. Very self destructive but all in the name of chasing the high that comes with men wanting you. I pray she is smarter this time around. Time will tell.

So that was basically my weekend. Working all day Saturday and then feeling like I was hit by a truck Sunday. My neighbour was a pit peeved cause she wanted us over for their last fire - they removed their fire pit to put in their new hot tub. I would have liked that but when we got home Saturday I was so zonked I began falling asleep on the couch as we watched tv.

Ok I'm gonna wrap this up, clean up the kitchen and get ready for bed. Rinse and repeat for a year now. Sigh.

8:24 p.m. - 2021-05-03


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